Useless Coworker Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for useless coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Useless Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #input, #something came up

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Coworker: Can I get your input by Friday? Wally: Absolutely, unless something comes up. Coworker: How often does something come up? Wally: More than you'd think. Coworker: What exactly are we talking about? Wally: I'd love to chat, but something just came up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #amphibians, #honesty, #inefficient, #design, #aquarium owner, #turtle, #filtration system

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Dilbert: This design would be inefficient. Coworker: How do you know that? Dilbert: Sometimes it's better if the aquarium owner doesn't explain to the turtle how the filtration system works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exhibitions, #fish & aquatic mammals, #remora, #trade show, #marine animal, #freakishly persuaive

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Asok: Have you selected a remora for your visit to the trade show? Coworker: What's a remora? Asok: A remora is a fish that suctions to the back of a larger marine animal. Coworker: He's not comfortable in crowds, but he's freakishly persuasive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #work ethic, #such back, #due dates, #lazy, #incompetent, #busy, #root cause

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Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #joking, #paperback, #spend free time, #fan of clutter

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Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emergency, #lostphone, #company id, #keys, #critical folder, #self generated crisi, #dead battery, #small brown purse

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Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #obstinacy, #test data, #email, #meaningless speech, #talk

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Dilbert: Can you email the test data to me? Coworker: We don't do it that way. Dilbert: That's not a reason. Coworker: I never give reasons. Dilbert: Nothing you say means anything! Coworker: That's how we've always done it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #meetings, #sound of voice, #unspoken rules, #noise, #perfect storm

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Coworker: I just realized I love the sound of my own voice! Ha ha! Thanks to the unspoken rules of meetings, I can enjoy the sound of myself as long as I want! Blah, blah, blah! Loud Howard: What's all that noise!? Topper: That's nothing! No one knew the perfect storm was approaching

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #exhaustion / tiredness, #sploosh

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Coworker: I'm so tired today. Wally: Sorry. I get excited when people have problems that I know how to solve.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #screen savers, #company logo, #corporate rule, #agenda, #meeting, #business

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Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.