Value Chain Comic Strips - Page 16
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160 Results for Value Chain
View 151 - 160 results for value chain comic strips. Discover the best "Value Chain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 06,
2016
Tina Isn't An Engineer
Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.
Friday October 07,
2016
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent
Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives
Transcript
CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.
Monday October 31,
2016
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In
Friday November 04,
2016
Asok Approves
Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance
Transcript
Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.
Saturday November 05,
2016
Tina Gives Buy In
Tags #negotiation, #money, #price, #cost, #value
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.
Tuesday October 17,
2017
Explaining Block Chain To Marketing
Tags #jargon, #explanation, #teaching, #language, #education
Transcript
Alice: This would be a perfect application for blockchain. Man: I'm in marketing. Can you explain that in terms I can understand? Alice: I kinda doubt it. Man: Because your a bad explainer, right?
Monday October 16,
2017
Initial Coin Offering
Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?
Sunday September 16,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich
Transcript
Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.
Friday June 14,
2019
Evil Marketing
Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.
Saturday July 20,
2019
Job Has No Meaning
Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #salary, #meaningful
Transcript
Dilbert: My job doesn't have meaning. Dogbert: If your employer added meaning to your job, would you agree to a cut in pay? Dilbert: No. Dogbert: I guess we just found the economic value of "meaning".