2005 Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
Saturday June 25,
2005
Tags ceo, major corproation, dream, risk taker, achieves goal
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "Ratbert, would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "That had always been my dream...until I found this extension cord to gnaw on. Now I'm committed to seeing it through." "He's a risk taker who won't stop until h achieves his goal."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 27,
2005
Tags ceo, limo, miss pennington, harold, rat bert, surgery, medical
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "Miss Pennington, have my driver fetch the limo." "My name isn't Miss Pennington. It's Harold." "And?" "Um...and...I'll have it legally changed to Miss Pennington so you won't be wrong." "Plus the surgery."
Tuesday June 28,
2005
Tags being ceo, made smarter, capital of japan, mitubishi, genius
Transcript
The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."
Wednesday June 29,
2005
Tags losing empathy, ceo two days, decorating office, more important, healthcare, varnished desk
Transcript
"Ratbert the CEO "I've only been CEO for two days and already I"m losing my empathy." "For example, I'm pretty sure that decorating my office is more important than your healthcare." "Which reminds me I plan to have varnished and used as my desk."
Thursday June 30,
2005
Tags board meeting, dipping employees, varnish, voted to fire you, 100 million, 1 million year
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."
Friday July 01,
2005
Tags failed ceo, worth 100 million, all reverse, head in glass, successful engineer, kind of funny
Transcript
RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."
Saturday July 02,
2005
Tags shoddy mistakes, meeting, avoid mistakes, documented process, keep hearing, business
Transcript
The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"
Monday July 04,
2005
Tags flirting, handsome men, sexy men, not for her, mixed blessing
Transcript
"All of my ex-boyfriends were sexy and handsome." "I finally realized that dating sexy, handsome men isn't for me." "I feel a mixed blessing coming my way." "What are you doing for lunch?"
Tuesday July 05,
2005
Tags dating pretty boys, look best, act best, more bread!, knows he can't do better
Transcript
"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"
Wednesday July 06,
2005
Tags company lawyer, contract, reasonable man, interpretation, squash, bug
Transcript
"Company Lawyer." "This contract would be subject to a 'reasonable man' interpretation." "Where is this guy? I'll squash him like a bug!" "Okay, moving on..." "It's you! I knew it!"

