2021 Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
Friday May 28,
2021
Men Are Stupid Pigs
Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty
Transcript
tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.
Saturday May 29,
2021
Chewing A Pen
Tags technology, business, video call, camera, chewing, pen, house, nose, address
Transcript
alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?
Sunday June 20,
2021
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His
Tags business, technology, program, artificial intelligence, analyze, digital, communications, kill, take over, control, finances, password, a.i.
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.
Sunday June 27,
2021
Loser Detector
Tags business, managers & supervisors, invention, losers, accurate, detection, pings, backwards, sarcasm
Transcript
in meeting room. dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers. boss: how do i know if it's accurate? dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings. boss pointing it at employees: boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser! ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate! dogbert: you're holding it backward. boss: how exactly does it detect losers? dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.
Thursday June 03,
2021
Pandemic Sales
Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.
Friday June 04,
2021
Leadership Quality
Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference
Transcript
boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.
Saturday June 05,
2021
Elbonian Literature Degree
Tags applicant, books, college, degree, education, elbonian, interview, language, major, test taker, translation
Transcript
applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.
Monday May 31,
2021
Management Potential
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, stealing, credit, potential, chart
Transcript
boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.
Tuesday June 01,
2021
Anythey
Wednesday June 02,
2021
Political Talk
Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed
Transcript
catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.


