2021 Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Men Are Stupid Pigs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Men Are Stupid Pigs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.

Chewing A Pen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chewing A Pen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, video call, camera, chewing, pen, house, nose, address

View Transcript

Transcript

alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?

Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, program, artificial intelligence, analyze, digital, communications, kill, take over, control, finances, password, a.i.

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.

Loser Detector

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loser Detector - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, invention, losers, accurate, detection, pings, backwards, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

in meeting room. dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers. boss: how do i know if it's accurate? dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings. boss pointing it at employees: boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser! ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate! dogbert: you're holding it backward. boss: how exactly does it detect losers? dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.

Pandemic Sales

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Leadership Quality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

Elbonian Literature Degree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Literature Degree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags applicant, books, college, degree, education, elbonian, interview, language, major, test taker, translation

View Transcript

Transcript

applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.

Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, stealing, credit, potential, chart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.

Anythey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, company, policy, pronouns, anythey, question, offensive

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.

Political Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.