Ceo Comic Strips - Page 16
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 151 - 160 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 19,
2008
Tags inmtern, ceo, powerpoint slides, board of directors, bonus, luck, tenuous connections, hopeful
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO didn't understand the powerpoint slides you made for him, so he asked the board of directors for a bonus. With any luck, the bonus will incent him to try harder to understand your slides. I'm getting better at finding tenuous connections to hope.
Wednesday March 12,
2008
Tags pronouned hay-soos, fixed eye sight, hair regrow, 40 shares, punch pilot light, ceo, team organizer
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"
Sunday April 27,
2008
Tags boss takes credit, self loathing, blame, taking credit, desparate, good idea, bad idea
Transcript
CEO: Who thought of this idea? The Boss: I came up with it all by myself. My subordinates, who have a healthy fear of losing their jobs, had nothing to do with it. Right? Wally: We're not worth the oxygen we breathe. Dilbert: I don't even know why I'm here. CEO: I asked because it's an awful idea. The Boss: You said I was stealing credit for a good idea, you lying liar!! CEO: Oh, wait. I read it wrong. This is actually a great idea. The Boss: Thanks. I know it was a winner when I thought of Dilbert: You gave him a good idea? Wally: Not intentionally. It must have been a typo.
Wednesday April 30,
2008
Tags poison pill, watch, ceo carcass, executives
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill." CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately." Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company. CEO: Gurgle
Thursday May 01,
2008
Tags blather, died inprocess, grossly overpaid, thwarted takeover
Transcript
Dogbert: I thwarted the hostile takeover bid, but your CEO died in the process. Dogbert: I'll find you someone else to blather about quality while being grossly overpaid. Dogbert: I like your look, but can you blather?" Man: Quality is my global added value!"
Tuesday June 10,
2008
Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight
Transcript
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"
Wednesday June 11,
2008
Tags abe lincoln, avoid comparisons, fords theater, media trainer, sandwhich, company future
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"
Thursday June 12,
2008
Tags mock interview, weasel, edit trainer, costume, human costume
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Sunday June 29,
2008
Tags eliminate bonuses, savings used, fun loving executives, wear festive costumes, sound of no money, ceo's yacht, whale oil, bring harpoon, happy about underpay
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our CEO decided to eliminated employee bonuses." The Boss says, "The savings will be used to produce an in-house movie to inspire you." Dilbert says, "Inspire us to do what?" The Boss says, "For starters, we'd like you to be happy about being underpaid." The Boss says, "Our fun-loving executives will wear festive costumes and sing about the virtues of poverty." The Boss says, "The movie is called 'The Sounds of No Money.'" The Boss says, "The premiere is on our CEO's yacht. He wants all of you to be there." Asok says, "We're invited to his yacht?" The Boss says, "The yacht runs on whale oil, so bring a harpoon."
Wednesday July 16,
2008
Tags management, moral compass broken, nun, ceo, scientist, burning building, bidding war, science
Transcript
Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."

