Customers Comic Strips - Page 16

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170 Results for Customers

View 151 - 160 results for customers comic strips. Discover the best "Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, morning, waking up, sleepless, complaining, manager, sociopath, emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff

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Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, computer, conversation, desk, tweets, technology

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Our customers organized a boycott because of your racist tweet. I know. That's why I tweeted out some witty insults at the organizers. Your new tweets are sexist. Notice how the make you forget about my racist tweets?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, blame, executives, scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

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Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, speaker, alexa, google, blackmail, extortion, spying, secrets

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

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Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity

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Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Winning Design Awards

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Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, fragile, cell phone, crack, screen, evil, technology

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Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Brains In A River

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Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cryogenics, ethics, laziness, yelp, online review, comments, feedback, customers

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Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.

Bad User Interface

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Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Customers Work For Free

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Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags test, big business, money, savings, obliviousness

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Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.