Date Comic Strips - Page 16
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202 Results for Date
View 151 - 160 results for date comic strips. Discover the best "Date" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 22,
2008
Tags date, perfect, low entertainment value, use our phones, surf the internet, call it a date, perfect woman
Transcript
Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh
Monday December 22,
2008
Tags blame, costume, date, lying, work clothes, scapegoat, depatment, entire comapny, men in unifrom
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Tuesday December 23,
2008
Tags bragging, rudeness, selfishness, stories, goat cistume, donated organs, hollow torso, backpack, zipper, family of squirrels
Transcript
Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"
Wednesday January 28,
2009
Tags unemployment, depressed, rudeness, conversation
Transcript
Dogbert says, "What's the worst part about you being unemployed?" Dogbert says, "Is it the risk of starvation, the inability to date, or the feeling of being utterly worthless?" Dilbert says, "So far the worst part is this conversation." Dogbert says, "Wait 'til you hear my tough love speech."
Wednesday April 29,
2009
Tags economy, money, demand, orders, rejection
Transcript
Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."
Sunday July 12,
2009
Tags assignment, useless, questioning, ridiculous
Transcript
The boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to audit the software we have on our systems." Dilbert says, "Why?" The boss says, "So we know what we have." Dilbert says, "Who will use the information?" The boss says, "It's just important to have." DIlbert says, "It will be out of date before I'm even done." The boss says, "Do your best." Dilbert says, "The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up." The boss says, "I hope no one ever comes here to learn our best practices."
Friday August 28,
2009
Tags date, shallow, ridiculous, looking, cell phone, failure, leaving, rejection, technology
Transcript
Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"
Wednesday November 04,
2009
Tags date, side effects, wings, flying, struggling, ridicule, criticism, offended
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My prescription meds have a side effect that made me grow wings." Dilbert says, "But I can turn it sexy by flying you over the city on this moonlit night." Dilbert says, "Seriously, how many appetizers did you have?"
Wednesday December 23,
2009
Tags date, restaurant, rude, email, hitting on, interrupting
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"
Tuesday March 23,
2010
Tags party, woman, date, hold drink, invent, shoulder phone, old man's head, soup, bones, scary, arm out, surprised, run away, scared, Dogbert, trick, auto-answer, kiss
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"


