Deception Comic Strips - Page 16
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157 Results for Deception
View 151 - 157 results for deception comic strips. Discover the best "Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 07,
2018
Wally Finds Critical Bug
Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick
Transcript
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Friday March 09,
2018
Boss Loves Criticism
Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception
Transcript
Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"
Saturday March 10,
2018
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality
Tags Advice, competition, bad advice, deception, wedgie
Transcript
Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.
Sunday June 03,
2018
Tags work ethic, productivity, progress, project, deception
Transcript
Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.
Saturday June 09,
2018
Wally's Stealth Drone
Tags deception, deceit, drone, technology, invention, fake
Transcript
Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!
Sunday July 15,
2018
Tags deception, deceit, contract, cost, money
Transcript
Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?


