Eat Donuts Comic Strips - Page 16

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215 Results for Eat Donuts

View 151 - 160 results for eat donuts comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Donuts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #abe lincoln, #avoid comparisons, #fords theater, #media trainer, #sandwhich, #company future

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Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #health problems, #absenteeism, #raise, #avoid exercise

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Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #high altitude view, #bunch of termites, #termites hate each other, #eat same log

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The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

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The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company lawyer, #simple agreement, #impenetrable gibberish, #sour taste, #choke my suspenders, #exercise, #eat right, #finish, #health

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat quieter, #asthmatic rhinoceros, #rampaging a cracker festival, #prepare sluprer

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Tina says, "Wally, can you eat quieter?" Crunch crunch mmmph crunch gulp Tina says, "you sound like an asthmatic rhinoceros rampaging a cracker festival." Mmmph erm crunch crunch Tina says, "GAAA!!! Not the beverage!" Wally says, "Prepare slurper! Boop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #philanthropist, #eat for one day, #opulent life, #super models, #stop giving, #inspire, #try harder

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Dogbert the Philanthropist Dogbert says, "If I give a man a fish, he will eat for one day." Dogbert says, "But if I inspire him by my opulent lifestyle and my squiring of supermodels, he might try harder." Dilbert says, "You can't stop giving." Dogbert says, "It's like a curse."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #fish, #microwave, #stink, #offcie, #impossible, #microwave things that smell bad, #job performance, #slippery slope, #socioathy, #liberating feeling, #felt bad, #extra fish, #animals

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Carol says, "Where are you going with that fish?" Wally says, "I'm going to microwave it." Carol says, "That will stink up the office and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy life." Carol says, "Isn't there something else you could eat?" Wally says, "I'm not going to eat it. I just like to microwave things that smell bad." Wally says, "After I stopped caring about my job performance, it was a slippery slope to complete sociopathy." Wally says, "It's a liberating feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt bad." Carol says, "Do you have an extra fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

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Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #history, #lying, #pride, #selfishness, #worried, #recession, #frightening, #crimean war, #cold stench, #death, #use moisturizer, #old enough, #experience, #education, #medical

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Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"