Help! Help! Comic Strips - Page 16

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424 Results for Help! Help!

View 151 - 160 results for help! help! comic strips. Discover the best "Help! Help!" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #melt polar ice caps, #doom humanity, #part of humanity, #marketing, #help destroy planet, #free t shirts, #business

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Dilbert says to Carol, "This product would melt the polar ice caps and doom humanity." Carol replies, "That's okay." Dilbert says, "You're a part of humanity." Carol answers, "No, I'm in marketing." Dilbert says to Carol, "I won't help you destroy the planet." Carol answers, "That's what I said until I saw the free T-shirts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #male brain, #treat like dirt, #good personalities, #overated, #getting hot

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Ming says to Dilbert, "Help me understand the male brain, Dilbert." Ming asks Dilbert, "I treat you like dirt and you ask me out on a date?" Dilbert replies, "Good personalities are overrated." Ming responds, "You're getting me all hot over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #confronts lulu, #dilbert confronts lulu, #huge crisis, #series of crisises, #smite, #static guard, #god softening

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LULU: come help me on this assignment. Its a huge crisis! Dilbert: LULU, DO you very wonder why your life is a series of crises? LULU: I assume god is softening me up before smiting me. Dilbert: excuse me while I put on my static guard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filing system, #reorganized files, #stress is gone, #lulu, #meeting, #boss, #Dilbert, #business

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LULU: My project was in a death spiral. I leapt into action and reorganized my filing system. The Boss: Did that help? LULU: My stress is gone!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #candidate for engineering, #resume, #invented e-commerce, #hire now, #team that invented, #teach paul, #to invent things

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Help me interview a candidate for engineering." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I think he's terrific!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Uh-oh." During the interview, Dilbert says to the candidate, "According to your resume, Paul, you invented e-commerce." The Boss says, "Wow!" The Boss then exclaims, "I'm going to hire him right now!" Dilbert replies, "Hold on." Dilbert says to Paul, "Paul, you didn't really invent e-commerce, did you?" Paul ansers, "Well..." Paul continues, "Maybe I was...um...part of the team that invented it." Dilbert, now agitated, yells "No one invented e-commerce!" The Boss, completely oblivious to all that 's been said asks Paul, "When can you start?" Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why am I here?" The Boss responds, "Maybe Paul can teach you how to invent things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

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The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

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Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

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Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr dummy, #lie on back, #mouth open, #your help

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Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, we can't find our CPR dummy. I need your help." Wally asks, "Finding it?" Catbert says to Wally, "Yes. Assuming you can do that while lying on your back with your mouth open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eternity, #flaming worms, #if i die, #succession plan, #tiptoes, #what to do, #dogbert consults

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The Boss says to Dogbert, "I've been told to make a succession plan." The Boss says, "The plan should say what to do if I die." Dogbert says, "I can help." Dogbert says to The Boss, "And if Satan makes you stand in flaming worms up to your nose, try standing on your tiptoes for eternity."