Impulse Control Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

162 Results for Impulse Control

View 151 - 160 results for impulse control comic strips. Discover the best "Impulse Control" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Upgrades His Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.

View more books now

Kill Code In Car

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Kill Code In Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #invention, #murder, #control, #government

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."

Need To Be More Creative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Be More Creative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Massive Data Breach

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Massive Data Breach - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Social Media Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.