Internet Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
208 Results for Internet
View 151 - 160 results for internet comic strips. Discover the best "Internet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 15,
2014
Tags internet & world wide web, power (social sciences), slaves, a-b testing, manipulate humans, orange button, mindless puppets, legality
Transcript
Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday March 16,
2014
Tags internet & world wide web, movies, clever video, create video, internet, go viral, marketing experts, engineer, more passion, loser attitude, viral video, Entertainment, technology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!
Monday May 19,
2014
Tags electronic mail, internet & world wide web, scams, enter bank acct, employee, boss
Transcript
WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.
Friday June 27,
2014
Tags laziness, work ethic, slacker, entire career, listen to podcasts, drink coffe, surf internet, multi slacking
Transcript
Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.
Saturday June 28,
2014
Tags wounds & injuries, work related injury, year off, with pay, drinking coffee, listening to podcast, personal, butt hurts, kill, murder, surfing internet
Transcript
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Thursday July 03,
2014
Tags friendship, internet & world wide web, facebook freinds, speed bumps, engineers, pictures of food, eat food, google, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Can I be your friend on Facebook? Dilbert: Friends are like speed bumps for engineers. Tina: How will you see pictures of my food? Dilbert: Do you eat food that Google doesn't know about?
Friday October 10,
2014
Tags boss, insult, insults, lists, managers, obliviousness, five signs, bad boss, forwarded link, 70 people
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you see the article on the Internet about the five signs you might be a bad boss? Boss: Yeah. About seventy people forwarded it to me. Dilbert: That was number three on the list. Boss: I didn't read it. Dilbert: That was number one.
Saturday October 25,
2014
Tags graphic design, graphic designers, outsourcing, new employee, subcontract, starngers, internet, 5% salary, undermind, technology
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.
Wednesday December 31,
2014
Dilbert Does Online Dating
Tags dating, internet dating, low standards, online dating, triple threat, six feet tall, hair, height, job, business, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!
Sunday February 15,
2015
Tags ceos, executives, leadership, threat, internet, ruin journalist, off the record, reporters, bar conversation, negative article, criminally insane, brillaunet writer, venn diagram, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a bad story about you on the Internet. Apparently, you described a plan to "ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story" about us. CEO: That was off the record! Dilbert: You said it in front of a dozen reporters at a business event. CEO: It was just bar conversation. I was making a point about fairness. Dilbert: Hmmm... but now no sane writer would write a negative article about us. I can't tell if you're a brilliant leader or criminally insane. CEO: I'd show you the Venn diagram they gave us in CEO school, but it just looks like a circle.

