Lying Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
164 Results for Lying
View 151 - 160 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 27,
2018
Ted The Liar
Tags alice, the boss, ted, liar, policy, forbid, disrespecting, co-workers, lying
Transcript
The Boss: Ted says you called him a liar. Our policy forbids disrespecting your co-workers. Alice: But Ted's lying is okay? The Boss: We don't have a policy about lying. Alice: Did Ted tell you that? The Boss: Yes. Oh...
Saturday November 03,
2018
Best Places To Work
Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Wednesday November 07,
2018
Tons Of Experience
Tags boss, business, employment, interviews, lying, managers & supervisors, experience
Transcript
Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.
Wednesday November 21,
2018
Bitter Losers
Tags boss, idea, lying, managers & supervisors, office workers, Promotion
Transcript
Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags lying, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe, salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Sunday November 10,
2019
What If You Are In A Coma
Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma
Transcript
phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.
Sunday September 06,
2020
Authority On Your Opinion
Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask
Transcript
co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.
Wednesday September 23,
2020
Business Lying
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.
Thursday September 24,
2020
Tina's Soul
Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask
Transcript
tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.
Monday January 04,
2021
Loser Dna
Tags business, performance, review, dna, lying, test, impossible
Transcript
catbird: from now on, your performance reviews will be based on your dna alone. your boss can't tell when you are lying about you accomplishments, but a simple test can tell me if you have loser dna. dilbert: i don't believe that is possible. catbird: that response is how i know you have it your test is done.

