Mean Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Mean

View 151 - 160 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags seminar, difficult cowrokers, groups, quit job, syndicated cartoonist

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll need to know your requirements before I start to design the software." "First of all, what are you trying to accomplish?" "I'm trying to make you design my software." "I mean what are you trying to accomplish with the software?" "I won't know what I can accomplish until you tell me what the software can do." "Try to get this concept through your thick skull: The software can do whatever I design it to do!" "Can you design it to tell you my requirements?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

What does MFU2 mean on your timeline? "That's Management Foul-Up number two. It usually happens around the third week." "We don't anticipate any management mistakes." "That's MFU1."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The Mildly Retarded Consultant "You'll have to drink from the firehose unless..." "...You drill down and check the dashboard to see why the bloatware bubbled up from the bake-off." "Does that mean anything?" "Don't ping my cheese with your bandwidth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I come from a place where we have many colorful folk sayings! "I'm happier than a wooden spoon at a spelling bee." "Most of 'em don't mean nothin'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you start the benchmark tests? "I'm all over that like a caterpillar on my Sunday pants." "Does that mean...yes?" "Do birds eat beans to fly faster?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't work with the smell of popcorn in the air. It makes me insane!" "I use it to mask the odors coming from my body. Choose your poison." "Refueling the Hindenburg?" "Why are people so mean?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's stressful to be a contract employee. I only get paid for the hours I work." "I can't enjoy my time off because it feels as if it costs me a fortune!" "Do you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I had a feeling once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags close the gap, good at something, jump ahead, strategy and capabilities

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.