Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrible news, valuable porject, three morons, assigned, crush them, carl, nothing valauable, shoo shoo

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Dilbert lies on the couch with his knees bent and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "Terrible news: my boss assigned me to a fun and valuable project." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh. That means at least three morons will be assigned to similar projects. You must find them and crush them . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Back at the office, Dilbert enters a co-worker's cubicle and says, "Carl, old buddy, whatcha workin' on these days?" Carl waves his hands and says, "Nothing fun and valuable. Shoo shoo!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headquarters, chucks looking unhappy, big guy, bad decisions, some bodies, changes will allow, core business

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The caption says, "Headquarters." Three executives sit at a conference table. One says to the man next to him, "Hey, Chuck's looking unhappy today. What's the problem, big guy?" Chuck says, "All of my bad decisions are catching up to me. Could we do another reorg to cover my tracks?" The third executive says, "Yeah, I've got some bodies to bury, too." Back at the office, the Boss reads a document aloud to Dilbert and Wally, ". . . These changes will allow us to focus on our core business." Wally walks away saying, "Whoa! Let me get my reorg boots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wall art, low bid, assistant scourcing, earth, low cost art

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Dilbert watches Dogbert and Bob the Dinosaur hanging paintings on the office wall. He asks Dogbert, "How did you get the contract to supply our company with wall art?" Dogbert answers, "Low bid." Dogbert says, "As we speak, my assistant is scouring the earth in search of low-cost art." Ratbert stands outside the "School-O-Art" with a bag of money. As an art student wearing a beret and painter's smock is thrown out of the school with his painting, Ratbert says, "I'll take it!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sign on coffee maker, stupid label guy, iso 900 requirement, no exceptions, label everything

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Dilbert enters the office kitchen where a man is putting a sign on the coffee maker that says, "Coffee maker." Dilbert asks, "Why are you putting a sign on the coffee maker?" The man says, "It's an ISO 9000 requirement. Everything must be clearly labeled. There can be no exceptions." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The man walks away saying, "Believe me, I don't like it any more than you do." The man's shirt has a label on the back that says, "Stupid label guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags saint dogbert, land of cubicles, demons, computer guru, data base concepts, monster, dispatched, actual code

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The caption says, "Saint Dogbert enters the Land of Cubicles searching for the demons of stupidity." Dogbert walks down the hall wearing a bishop's miter and holding a scepter. The caption says, "Suddenly he finds an over-promoted computer guru spouting useless database concepts." A man sits at a conference table with two glassy-eyed co-workers. The man says, "You'd be fools to ignore the boolean anti-binary least-square approach." The caption says, "The monster is dispatched to the dark world by the sight of its most feared object." Dogbert stands on the conference table holding a document in front of the man. Dogbert says, "Look! Actual code!" The man's head melts into his shirt and a co-worker says, "Cool!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags run to post offcie, buy more than one stamp, float

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The Boss says to his secretary, "I've gotta run to the post office." The secretary says, "You go to the post office every day. Are you aware that you can buy more than one stamp at a time?" The Boss replies, "Apparently you don't understand the concept of 'float.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags password, not working, help request line, password doesn't work, email message, stinking network, worthless

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Dilbert peers into a co-worker's cubicle and says, "My password for the network isn't working." The man says, "Fill out a help request online." Dilbert says, "I can't get online because my password doesn't work . . ." The man says, "Send me an e-mail message about it." Dilbert shouts angrily, "I can't send e-mail because I can't get on the stinkin' network!!!" The man says, "Geez, you're worthless . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags be my couch, dysfunctional internet connections, huge ball yarn, human resources, treatment prgrams, used as furniture, yarn therpay, ropes, business

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Dilbert sits across from Catbert's desk. Dilbert asks, "Does Human Resources offer any treatment programs for people with dysfunctional internet connections?" Catbert shows Dilbert a pamphlet and says, "I recommend the 'yarn therapy.' You'll be wrapped in a huge ball of yarn and used as furniture in my office." Dilbert reads the brochure and asks, "Is this like the famous 'Ropes' course where I learn to solve problems as part of a team?" Catbert replies, "Exactly, except here you learn to be my couch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss give orders, get in trouble, dogbert detective, embarass, happiest moment, my career

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Dilbert sits on his couch watching television. A voice on the tv says, "Does your boss give you orders and later deny it? Do you get in trouble for doing what you're told?" On the tv, Dogbert sits at a desk while Ratbert holds a video camera. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Detective Agency' will videotape it all and embarrass your boss with proof!" Back in the office, the Boss reads a document and says, "What??! Why did you do this??!" Dilbert stands in front his desk holding a videotape and says, "This is the happiest moment of my career." Dogbert says, "Lights!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, janitor, over time pay, 75k per year, basment, reading magazines, fishing, engineer, no over time, Sports, engineering

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Alice sits at her desk. The janitor stands in her cubicle door and says, "Working late again, huh, Alice?" Alice says, "Seventy hours this week . . ." The janitor replies, "Me too. Thank goodness for overtime pay!" Alice looks shocked and asks, "Overtime pay?" The janitor says, "Allow me to explain." The janitor draws a graph and says, "Unlike you so-called 'exempt' employees, my income increases if I work additional hours." The janitor continues, "I'm pulling in seventy-five thousand a year. And half the time I just hide in the basement reading 'Fishing' magazine." The janitor continues, "The only down side is that I don't get to enjoy the intellectual stimulation of my co-workers the way you do." The janitor sits in the basement reading a magazine. He thinks, "I don't know what I like better - deep sea fishing or cubicle fishing."