Position Code Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for Position Code

View 151 - 160 results for position code comic strips. Discover the best "Position Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Learns To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Wally's Inappropriate Attire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Inappropriate Attire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress code, #outfit, #crop top, #deception, #ploy, #trick, #telecommuting, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

Requesting The Slightest Change

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

Estimating Finish Times

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Food Poisoning On Trip

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Food Poisoning On Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Better Listener Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Raising Cyborgs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #Women, #free will, #control, #robot, #personality, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.