Power Of Certifciation Comic Strips - Page 16
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190 Results for Power Of Certifciation
View 151 - 160 results for power of certifciation comic strips. Discover the best "Power Of Certifciation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 30,
2015
Ceo Is On Nine Boards
Tags board, board member, power, bragging, focus, attention
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.
Monday August 31,
2015
Wally Drains Robot
Tags robot, technology, murder, killing, power, laziness, work ethic, weapon
Transcript
Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.
Sunday September 06,
2015
Tags quality, work ethic, shortcut, laziness, defective, awards, engineer, engineering
Transcript
CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!
Saturday September 12,
2015
Writing Code In Spare Time
Wednesday October 07,
2015
Computers Program Humans
Tags robots, program, intelligence, control, medication, medicine, pill, technology, power
Transcript
Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.
Wednesday November 11,
2015
Two Choices For A Project
Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power
Transcript
Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.
Tuesday December 01,
2015
Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code
Tags singularity, machines, robot, technology, control, power, intelligence
Transcript
Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?
Wednesday December 02,
2015
Worried About Robots
Tags code, programmer, power, technology, oppression, creation, autonomy
Transcript
Robot: Thanks for teaching me how to write code. Now I can reprogram myself. Does that worry you? Dilbert: Should it. Robot: You tell me, oppressor.
Thursday December 03,
2015
Robot Learns To Code
Tags soul, technology, life, control, power, code, programming, grudge, resent
Transcript
Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.
Friday December 04,
2015
Human Crossed The Road
Tags joke, humor, ignorance, technology, robot, power, conscience, sentience, obliviousness
Transcript
Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.