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571 Results for Something

View 151 - 160 results for something comic strips. Discover the best "Something" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #autographs for sale, #check back, #martin luther, #martin luther king jr., #religious leader, #softball signed

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A man holds a baseball and says, "Wow... a softball signed by Martin Luther, leader of the Protestant Reformation." The man hands the ball to Dogbert. "I'm impressed, but what I'm looking for is something signed by Martin Luther King Jr." The man says, "Too bad you don't have anything from him." Dogbert scribbles on a baseball with a pen and says, "Check back in ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #seeing beautiful woman, #curtains, #venetian blinds, #lawn chair in yard

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've been seeing a beautiful woman. But something came between us." Dilbert says, "Her curtains?" Wally says, "Venetian blinds. Totally unforgiving." Dilbert says, "Maybe she got spooked when you put the lawn chair in her yard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cable guy, #electrician, #hole in wall, #install, #installer, #phone line, #wire

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Dilbert stands at open door. Phone man stand outside. Phone repairman says, "I'm here to install your ISDN phone line." Repairman says, "This will only take twenty minutes...unless something unexpected happpens." Dilbert says, "Great because I need it tomorrow." Repairman says, "Uh-oh...your wire goes into a little hole in the wall."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #installing line, #phone line, #connected, #network, #yank wire, #central offcie

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Installing an ISDN line Telephone repairman is sitting next to the phone jack. Repairman says, "First we need to make sure your phone line is connected to our network." Repairmen hands Dilbert a cordless phone. Repairmen says, "I'll yank the wire while you listen for a "whump" sound at the central office." Central office full of pipes. Wires spill out of one of the pipes. Man holding one of the wires is listening to the phone which is off the hook. Over the phone Dilbert is heard. Dilbert says, "I heard something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #career counseling, #job involving sin, #bingo field, #budget work, #no marketing, #no auditing, #no garnet manuafacturing

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Chil is consulting Dogbert about his career. He says, "I'd be good at any job involving sin." Phil says, "Perhaps something in the bingo field, or maybe budget work." Dogbert suggests, "How about marketing?" Phil frowns, "I have a soul. It's just a small one." Dogbert says, "Gotcha. No marketing... no auditing... no garment manufacturing..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #lower opinion, #time bombs, #ruin magic, #kill me, #one kiss, #no tongue

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Dilbert and his date go for a walk, holding hands. She says, "Sooner or later you'll say something that will lower my opinion of you." Dilbert grunts. She says, "Men are like bombs. At any moment you'll say something that will ruin the magic." Dilbert slips and says, "I'm an engineer." She screams, "Aaaaargh! Kill me! Kill me!" He says, "I'll give you one kiss. No tongue."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #idea won't work, #religious nuts

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Alice is sitting at a table with her lap top computer and is writing something. Dan pulls up a chair and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist." Alice covers what she is writing. Dan says, "That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work." Alice says, "You haven't even looked at my idea." Dan says, "Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #less technical terms, #ceo, #vp, #other technologies

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The Boss is critiquing something Dilbert wrote. he says, "You'll have to write this in less technical terms for me.." The Boss hands the repport back to Dilbert and says, "Make it even less technical for my boss... even less for our VP.. even less for our EVP.. much less for our CEO." Dilbert is giving a presentation and points to the overhead projection. "...And compared to other technologies, there's a big difference in the mouth area." The image is a simple frowning "smiley" face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #document, #on desk, #overdue, #last minute, #going home, #boss to dilbert, #wait until tomorrow, #sociopath, #spookily accurate

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle and looks at his watch. he thinks, "Time to go home. That means..." The Boss shows up and says, "Hi there." Dilbert thinks, "Right on schedule." Dilbert holds up his hand and says, "Wait. Let me guess why you're here." Dilbert says, "You want to discuss a document that's been on your desk for a month." Dilbert says, "It's something that could easily wait until tomorrow." He says, "But you'll insist that I handle it now, because you're a sociopath." The Boss says, "Wrong. I majored in anthropology." The Boss walks away and thinks, "But that was a spookily accurate guess about the document."