Talking Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

268 Results for Talking

View 151 - 160 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, computers & peripherals, unix servers, new servers, new names

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, internet & world wide web, black hat, websites ranking, search engine, unethical, near certainty, loserish, talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, meetings, non stop talking, trophy, participating, too much self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blazers, buying work clothes, female, men's clothing, pantsuit talking, unisex store, unisex suit, women suits

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm buying my work clothes at the unisex suit store. Dilbert: There's no such thing a unisex suit store. Wally: You always have to be right. Dilbert: That's the pantsuit talking.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags next is lie, personnel officers, planning layoffs, questioning, repeat question, communication styles, pattern of talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you planning layoffs? Boss: Am I planning layoffs? Dilbert: When you repeat my question it means the next thing you say will be a lie. Go. Boss: I love your stinkin' guts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Family, work from home, 2 days err week, reduce carbon foorprint, wife, small children, egg carton, talking to moron, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags calendars, desk, meails, meetings, padtes, schdeules, secretary, coordinates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, new software product, google, created product, free, buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, input, something came up

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Can I get your input by Friday? Wally: Absolutely, unless something comes up. Coworker: How often does something come up? Wally: More than you'd think. Coworker: What exactly are we talking about? Wally: I'd love to chat, but something just came up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, executives, managers & supervisors, engineers, middleman, worse case scenario, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!