Twenty Four Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

185 Results for Twenty Four

View 151 - 160 results for twenty-four comic strips. Discover the best "Twenty Four" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunication lines, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #policy, #assignments, #disappointed

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And you are...? Coworker: I've worked for you for years. I was telecommuting, but now our company policy forbids it, so here I am. Boss: Did I give you any assignments in those four years? Coworker: No, and you can imagine how disappointed I am now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #Family, #obliviousness, #career, #focus, #married with kids, #huge hassle, #already chosen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #respect, #succeed, #treat each other well, #video recording, #google glasses, #recording confidential info, #fired, #insulting, #final check, #name calling, #ironic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #stress, #overeating, #willpower, #downside, #20 year reduction, #life expectency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #successful people, #start early, #really working, #boss, #first four hours

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Studies show that successful people can start early. Can I start work at 4AM and quit at noon? Boss: How would I know you were really working the first four hours? Wally: Same way you know now. Boss: I don't know now. Wally: It's like that but with less attendance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #relations between the sexes, #silicon valley startup, #socially awkward, #seen a woman, #four years, #scalable architecture

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We bought a Silicon Valley start-up just to get the engineers. Be gentle with them. They're socially awkward and they haven't seen a woman in four years. Coworker: Who's up for a debate about scalable architecture followed by some spawning.

Wally Wears Heels

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Wears Heels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #height, #money, #salary, #short, #tall, #wages, #clogs, #four inch heels, #income per year, #lump sum, #each heel inch

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadlines, #deadline, #management, #time management, #projects, #distraction, #multitasking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?

More Than Garfield

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Than Garfield - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mondays, #Garfield, #sarcasm, #teasing, #conversation, #antisocial, #alienation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.