Wrong Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

347 Results for Wrong

View 151 - 160 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spreadsheet, terrible job, boos, meeting, office, poorly conceived, complexity of real world, wrong cells, numbers don't lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags changes, pension plan, company wide, email, read email, compulsion, details, engineers, brain, best meeting, humiliate boss, called out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos son, joining dept., intern, mentor, little spy, tell hi dad, list of compliments, go somewhere, three questions, desk, kill him

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags converstaion, need to be right, annoying, pointed out, date, blame

View Transcript

Transcript

You treat every conversation like it's a contest where you have to be the one who is right! Dilbert: "It only seems that way because everything you say is wrong." "See? There it is!" Dilbert: "I'm pretty sure that was you again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags credible scientist, products harm enbviornment, cats doubt on data, eat wrong food, hope you die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags always wrong, recommend shopping

View Transcript

Transcript

RatBert: I'm always wrong about everything. What can I do to fix that? Dogbert: "I recommend shopping. The customer is always right." Ratbert: "Shopping makes me smart?!!" Dogbert: "You aren't shopping yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales questions, vice presdient, talk to boss, questions, confusion, chaos, time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Where do you think you're going?" Asok: "I need to ask our VP of sales a question." Wally: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" "You can't speak directly with a vice president." "You need to talk to your boss, who talks to his boss, who talks to someone who is friends with the VP of sales, who then talks to him." Asok: "Wouldn't that virtually guarantee that the wrong question gets asked?" Wally: "It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." Asok: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Talk to my secretary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flash, java script, website, fast guy in tights, movie about coffee, code words, remember, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, worker, office, wrong path, precise verbal explanation, embarrassment of undoing, good plan, progress, mistreatment of workers, corrupt policices, bad boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress." Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress." Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags face, hate goatees, powers of extreme, uncoolness, another goatee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "What's wrong with your face?" Wally: "It's a goatee. I hate goatees, so I am using my powers of extreme uncoolness to make them go away." Dilbert: "That could work." man: "GAAA!!!"