Asok Comic Strips - Page 16

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963 Results for Asok

View 151 - 160 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Meets Dick

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Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mean, jerk, internet, comment, sarcasm, forum, social media, technology

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Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pessimism, people, experience, psychic, esp, sixth sense, learning, misanthrope

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Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Selfish Team Player

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Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, team, semantics, flaw, personality disorder, success, selfish, business

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Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

It Takes More Than Luck

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It Takes More Than Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, intelligence, privilege, nepotism, obliviousness, confusion

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CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.

Asok Asks How Much Is Luck

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Asok Asks How Much Is Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nepotism, luck, success, obliviousness, rich people, privilege

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Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.

Understanding The Problem

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Understanding The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, wisdom, criticism, bad advice, executives, success

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CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.

Employees Should Be Optimists

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Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception

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Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Removing Obstacles

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Removing Obstacles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hinder, hinderance, obstacle, obstacles, management, managers, insult, zinger, zing

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Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.

Hard Work Is Necessary For Success

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Hard Work Is Necessary For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, misunderstanding, motivation, hard work, Advice, brainwash

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Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?