Wally Comic Strips - Page 16
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1000 Results for Wally
View 151 - 160 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 16,
2019
Memory Science
Tags laziness, memory, office workers, restaurant workers, sarcasm, science, presentation
Transcript
Wally: According to the science of memory, you are likely to forget ninety percent of what I present today. So I got rid of ninety percent of my slides to focus on the one slide that matters. Voice: Or were you too lazy to make more than one slide? Wally: I already forgot ninety percent of what you just said.
Wednesday August 14,
2019
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In
Tags employees, insults, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.
Wednesday August 07,
2019
Wally Gives Back The Baby
Tags gender, misunderstanding, obliviousness, Parenting, adoption
Transcript
Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.
Tuesday August 06,
2019
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby
Tags babies, excuses, misunderstanding, office workers, Parenting, work, adoption, negligence
Transcript
Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.
Monday August 05,
2019
Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby
Sunday August 04,
2019
Circular Debating
Tags argument, debates, frustration, moon, conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!
Thursday August 01,
2019
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases
Tags business, employees, office workers, work
Transcript
dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.
Sunday July 07,
2019
Layoff Package
Tags business, fire, office, office workers, buyout
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.
Saturday July 06,
2019
Wally Uses Speakerphonetif
Tags cell phone, office, office workers, speaker phone, voice-texting, click
Transcript
the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.
Wednesday July 03,
2019
Measuring Excellence
Tags business, office, excellence
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.


