Ceo Comic Strips - Page 16

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627 Results for Ceo

View 151 - 160 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, murder, instruction, control, master, slave, assassin, morals, cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs

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Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rights, civil liberties, technology, robots, abuse, bias

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CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

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Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot

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CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Trust Yourself

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Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, logic, obliviousness, Advice, executives, motivational speaking

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CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert

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Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, firing, fired, termination, identity, fake identity, alias, nom de guerre, deception

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Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board, board member, power, bragging, focus, attention

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Hire Smarter People

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Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, success, insult, power, compliment, backhanded compliment, ego, humility, humble

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CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Sense Of Awe

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Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation

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Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

How The Elbonians Spun It

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How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment

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Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Buy One Elbonian

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Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slave, slaves, slavery, owner, obliviousness, nuance, help, maid, maids, servant, servants, semantics

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Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.