Company Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
882 Results for Company
View 151 - 160 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 09,
2014
Tags capitalism, cruelty, executives, industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, meat, announcements, artificial meat prodcut, automated robots, senior management, manufacturing employees, engineering
Transcript
CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?
Monday October 13,
2014
Tags accessories, busniess casual, clothing, dorks, fashion, new dress code, powerless, boring, sexually irrelevant, badeg, asexual trespasser
Transcript
Dilbert: This is our new company dress code. We call it "Business Dorky." Dogbert: I like it because it makes you look powerless, boring, and sexually irrelevant. Dilbert: They make me wear this badge so I don't look like an asexual trespasser. Dogbert: Accessories make the outfit.
Saturday October 04,
2014
Tags pretending, rehab, victim, work ethic, workaholic, effect health, dramatic, blaming victim
Transcript
Wally: I'm pretending to be a workaholic so the company will pay for rehab. Waaaa!!! I am working too hard! It is starting to affect my health! Boss: That seemed a bit dramatic. Wally: Here we go with blaming the victim.
Friday October 03,
2014
Tags rehab, work ethic, workaholic, laundry
Transcript
Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.
Tuesday September 30,
2014
Tags company culture, culture, hiring, incompetence, work culture, good fit, stigma, cultural hires, wishes, rise above
Transcript
Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.
Monday September 01,
2014
Tags cruelty, work ethic, human resources, feeling of inadequency, boost company profits, all weekedn, adequate temporary basis, business
Transcript
Catbert: My job in Human Resources is to instill in you a permanent feeling of inadequacy. Your only hope for feeling good about yourself is to work feverishly to boos company profits. If you work all weekend for free, I am willing to call you adequate on a temporary basis. Dilbert: I'll take it.
Wednesday August 20,
2014
Tags language, lawyers, simple business deal, best work, backyard
Transcript
Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer
Saturday August 02,
2014
Tags choosing, competition (psychology), start up, pay half, stay or go
Transcript
Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.
Monday July 07,
2014
Tags computers & peripherals, frustration, inventions, no sense, standard turing test, upset, company strategy
Transcript
Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.
Thursday June 26,
2014
Tags alcoholic beverages, retreat, officers, company slogan, new slogan, stop spitting, alcohol involved
Transcript
Boss: Our officers came up with a new company slogan after two weeks at a retreat. The new slogan is "Shtop spitting ahn me when you talk!" We believe alcohol was involved.

