Competition (Psychology) Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

237 Results for Competition (Psychology)

View 151 - 160 results for competition (psychology) comic strips. Discover the best "Competition (Psychology)" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, drank sewage, happiness, prototype, untreated sewage, water purification, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let me tell you what kind of day I had at work. There was some confusion about my water purification prototype, and our CEO drank eight ounces of untreated sewage. Dogbert: So... best day ever? Dilbert: It'll be hard to top.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, office workers, uncomfortable, enjoy working, my job, suffer, boss, unhappy, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bluetooth, bluetooth headset, cyborg, doctors, ear, full human, happiness, intraocular lenses, inventions, pill form, powered by chemistry, streaming video, surgically enbed, vision correction, dentits, special surgery, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags therapist, therapy, couch, complaining, turn tables, shrink, session, husband, pad.pen, fishing for compliments, relationships, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bears, happiness, compares, raise, working, people attacked, bear attacked, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), fish & aquatic mammals, complaints, shark, doplphon, robot, patrol, waters

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, suspicion, job interview, brand online, blog, tweets, facebook, credit, criminal record, transcripts, refrences, external stuff, attitude, yrine test, dna test, tanning bed, mri, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), goals for the year, assignments, average raise, invent nuclear fusion, lack of knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, competition (psychology), tweaks to ideas, fails, claim credit, many forms genius, steaming an oval

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?