Delete Unnecessary Data Comic Strips - Page 16

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230 Results for Delete Unnecessary Data

View 151 - 160 results for delete unnecessary data comic strips. Discover the best "Delete Unnecessary Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #orchestra od data, #ironic spelling, #geneous mistro

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Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #enjoy opportunity, #new paranoid employee, #not invied, #plotting, #peri noid, #perimeno

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Headline: Peri Noid. Dilbert, Alice, and Peri Noid are sitting. Alice says to Dilbert, "We'll have the data by Tuesday." Peri Noid asks, "How do you know that?" Peri Noid says, "You must be getting invited to meetings and then saying, 'Don't invite Peri.'" Alice turns to Dilbert and asks, "Would it be wrong to enjoy this opportunity?" Peri points her finger and exclaims, "Plotting!! Right there!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cruel invention, #disposible, #evil, #fossil fuel, #lackey, #life, #no prupose, #no purpose

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Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #engineering anaysis, #unnecessary assignment, #non existent software, #sweet smell

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "It's critical that you finish this engineering analysis by Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Aahh.. It has the sweet smell of an unnecessary assignment." Wally says, "Yes, I can smell it from here." Dilbert says, "Feasibility of using non-existent software." Wally giggles, "Hee Hee!" The Boss says, "Stop being you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #ability to predict, #results of actions, #fully conscious, #array of sensors, #collect data

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Dilbert is walking with a woman. He says, "My theory is that consciousness is the ability to predict and then observe the results of actions." Dilbert continues, "So I think you could build a computer that would be fully conscious." The woman falls asleep. Dilbert carries the woman over his shoulder. He continues, "Obviously you'd need an array of sensors to collect the data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #first week, #never do work, #non work, #tasks, #thinking, #wally period, #wally week, #want week

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Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #extra funding, #extra network traffic, #hard data, #infinte capacity, #logic, #opinions, #science works, #weasel misrepresnting, #science

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #database, #not to learn, #put bugs back in, #strong desire, #apathetic

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Asok hands a piece of paper to The Boss. Asok says, "I worked all weekend to get the bugs out of the database." The Boss replies, "But now the data makes us look bad. Put back the bugs." Asok says to Wally, "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally responds, "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #padded cost estimates, #co workers, #cost etsimates, #inaccurate data, #half full glass

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting trolls, #spit on data, #tour of department

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Headline: Accounting Trolls. One troll encourages the other, "Go ahead, Larry spit on his data." Larry lunges forward and spits, "PTOO!!" Dilbert is covered in spit. A troll says to him, "Can I give you a little tour of our department?"