Entire Comapny Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for entire comapny comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Comapny" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small fonts, #save disk space, #semi colons, #colons, #was fun, #new ideas, #next staff meeting

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Dilbert listens as Asok says to the Boss, "My idea is that everyone should be required to use small fonts. That way we'll save disk space." Asok continues, "And I've noticed that many people use entire colons in situations where a semicolon would do just fine." As they walk away, Asok says to Dilbert, "You're right, that was fun." Dilbert replies, "The real fun is when he describes his new ideas at the next staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #association, #generous controbution, #get elected, #prison, #cover tracks, #wrecks chances, #briber of month

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A man hands a briefcase to Dogbert and says, "I'm from the Association For Products That Are Bad For You. Here's a generous contribution to your campaign." Dogbert opens the briefcase and says, "This is so cool! I'll use your money to get elected, then I'll put your entire industry in prison to cover my tracks!" The man drives his car and thinks, "This probably wrecks my chances of being named Briber of the Month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angels dance in head, #fault, #huge number, #jeopardizing, #prototype, #quality assurance, #schedule, #tree falls forest

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "In the short time you've worked in quality assurance, you've found a huge number of flaws in our prototype." Ratbert replies, "That's my job!" The Boss continues, "You're jeopardizing our schedule. The entire project will fail and it's all YOUR fault." Ratbert asks, "Why is it MY fault?" The Boss replies, "If a tree falls in the forest . . . And we've already sold the tree . . . Does it have quality?" Ratbert asks, "How many angels can dance on your head?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ken from sales, #nobody buys, #current prodcut, #new version, #entire product line, #biggest comepetitor, #brisk sales, #commissions galore, #justice, #idiots punished

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A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #become mimes, #blame the mimes, #debug, #elbonia, #four million dollars, #one million dollars, #quality assurance, #software, #programmers, #engineering

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Dilbert points to a diagram on an overhead projector. Dilbert says to the Boss, "You saved one million dollars by having programmers in Elbonia write software for us." Dilbert continues, "But we wasted four million dollars trying to debug the software." Dilbert continues, "And the entire staff of our quality assurance group quit to become mimes." The Boss responds, "Let's blame the mimes; they won't talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consulting comapny, #lead project, #bright enough, #bad attitudes, #no apparent reason, #introduce ourselves, #chummy with locals

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entire pc industry, #graphic metaphors, #microsoft logo, #pronounce differently, #dogbert 2000

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Dilbert stands on a book on a chair and works at a computer. He tells Dilbert, "I call my new operating system the 'Dogbert 2000.'" Dogbert continues, "Soon I will dominate the entire PC industry! Heh-heh . . ." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "It looks like 'Windows 95.'" Dogbert replies, "I use some of the same graphic metaphors, but I pronounce them differently." Dilbert asks, "How do you pronounce the 'Microsoft' logo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #camping girl, #entire morning, #woe is carl, #escape tunnel

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Carl peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "It's time for a visit from 'Camping Carl.'" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "There goes my entire morning." Carl says, "I'd like to begin with a monologue entitled 'Woe is Carl.'" Inside the cubicle, Carl continues, "I'm working every minute!" Dilbert's head comes out of a trap door in the floor outside his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "They all laughed when I built the escape tunnel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

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The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #told stan, #marketing, #dna, #gullibility, #reverse process, #entire reality, #unverified, #anecdotes, #rumour, #alleged focus group, #becoming weasel, #business

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I jokingly told Stan in marketing that I reprogrammed his DNA. He's so gullible that he's actually changing!" Dogbert suggests, "You must use his gullibility to reverse the process. Remember, his entire reality is shaped by unverified customer anecdotes." Dilbert tells Stan, "I heard a rumor of a story of an alleged focus group where a quote taken out of context indicates you're not becoming a weasel." Stan says, "I'm not?! Yipeee!"