Half Huge Raises Comic Strips - Page 16
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478 Results for Half Huge Raises
View 151 - 160 results for half huge raises comic strips. Discover the best "Half Huge Raises" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 10,
2005
Tags #stress hump, #no asignment, #no compeer no freinds, #resist, #the hump
Transcript
The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."
Monday April 25,
2005
Tags #evil director, #expect raises, #bad ratings, #reflect poorly, #ability to motivate, #useless people, #feel bad
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."
Thursday April 21,
2005
Tags #raises, #more pay, #mathy, #don't get mathy
Transcript
The Boss: Don't feel bad if you only got a 3% raise; I only got 2% myself. Alice: "Can we feel bad that 2% if your pay is bigger than 3% of our pay?" The Boss: "Don't get all mathy on me."
Sunday March 27,
2005
Tags #work load, #complaints, #drowning in work, #priorotize, #fax, #new guy set, #faxing project, #reading comics
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you." Carol: "What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" The boss: "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this." Carol: "No can do." "My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." The Boss: "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." Carol: "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!" "Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"
Friday March 18,
2005
Tags #conference call, #success, #set up, #15 people, #forgot to call in, #mute buttons, #spinning story
Transcript
Asok: The conference call was a huge sucess. "Three out of 15 people were available and only one of them forgot to call in." The boss: "So it was a phone call between two people?" Asok: "It would have been if they hadn't used the mute buttons."
Tuesday January 18,
2005
Tags #raises, #salary band, #205 higher, #raises capped, #supervisor
Transcript
The Boss: "I'd like to promote you, but the lowest salary band for the next level is 20% higher than your current pay." "Raises are capped at 5%, so there's no way to give you the promotion." "So I plan to hire someone from the outside that you can train to be your supervisor."
Tuesday November 30,
2004
Tags #retail distribution, #walgetco, #unreasonable, #special packageing, #foot powder
Transcript
"Meet with our huge retail distributor, Walgetco, and find out what they want now." "Say yes, no matter how unreasonable they are, because we need them more than they need us." ". . .Special packaging, rfid tags, and grind your bones to make store brand foot powder." "Yes!"
Tuesday November 23,
2004
Tags #progress thwarted, #inconvenient, #lack of enthusiasm
Transcript
Wally: My progress has been thwarted by a huge obstacle. I.E. Everything I need to do is inconvenient. You can take mu should but nit my lack of enthusiasm,
Sunday September 12,
2004
Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks
Transcript
WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.
Saturday August 21,
2004
Tags #no annual raises, #ouift, #cafeteria napkins, #colonize mars, #distractions, #guide conversation away
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"