Managers Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
596 Results for Managers
View 151 - 160 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 04,
2020
Elbonian Spy
Tags business, managers & supervisors, face mask, coronavirus, spy, foreigner, data, security, racist, excuse
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: our data security team informs me we have an elbonian spy in our midst. dilbert wearing face mask: maybe it's this elbonian guy you hired. elbonian wearing face mask: whoa, that is super racist. dilbert: is it you? elbonian: yes, but i don't see how that excuses you.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday April 30,
2020
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan
Tags business, managers & supervisors, video conference, stock market, money, rich, lost, pandemic, health, underpay, stategy
Transcript
ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.
Saturday April 25,
2020
Social Distancing
Tags business, eighties, health, hug, managers & supervisors, practice, social distancing, virus, coronavirus
Transcript
boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.
Sunday April 19,
2020
Elbonian Factory Problem
Tags business, managers & supervisors, report, factory, elbonia, problem, lost, power, main, floor, employees, scared, trip, dark, gas, line, accident, crater, capital, explosion, unsympathetic
Transcript
dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.
Friday April 17,
2020
Rot From The Inside
Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise
Transcript
boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?
Thursday April 16,
2020
Show Interest In Employees
Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question
Transcript
alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.
Wednesday April 15,
2020
Poster Of Our Values
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, poster, values, room, forgot, steal, guess, break room
Transcript
boss at conference room table: i hope you all saw the poster i put in the break room with our list of values. dilbert: i didn't see it. what are our values? boss: i don't remember. wally: are we allowed to steal? dilbert: i don't think so, but i'm guessing.
Tuesday April 14,
2020
Working On Vacation
Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, vacation, scold, enjoy, behind, train, broken
Transcript
dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.
Sunday April 12,
2020
Loving Yourself
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, philosophy, self love, evil, ignorant, selfish, lazy, love
Transcript
boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!
Saturday April 11,
2020
Tina Sues Boss
Tags business, managers & supervisors, lawyer, sexist, jokes, not, Funny, illegal, unfunny, criminally, last, know
Transcript
tina: i've contacted my lawyer to sue you for your sexist jokes. your humor is not funny, and there's a good chance it is illegal. boss to catbert: i just learned that i am criminally not funny. catbert: you're always the last to know.

