Paid Less Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for Paid Less

View 151 - 160 results for paid less comic strips. Discover the best "Paid Less" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #office, #office workers, #company shirts, #casual freidays, #lower self esteem, #stop complaining, #industry average, #feel overpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint slide, #hired to identify, #goals of org., #show you sldie, #get paid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consultant Dogbert says, "I've been hired to identify the most important goals of your organization." Dilbert says, "how will you do that?" Dogbert says, "I'll ask you what they are, and you'll tell me." Dogbert says, "Then I'll put your answers on a PowerPoint slide." Dogbert says, "Next week I'll show you the slide and tell you to focus on your most important goals." Dogbert says, "Then I'll get paid. Because that's MY most important goal." Dogbert says, "WOO-HOO! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" Dogbert says, "I lead by example."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #less air conditoning, #shorts allowed, #compensation, #upadte shorts wardrobe, #lederhosen

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The company will be using less air conditioning to reduce expenses." The Boss says, "To compensate, we're loosening up on the dress code. Shorts will now be allowed." Wally says, "I'm not going to update my shorts wardrobe until I know this will last."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #position eleiminated, #performance, #not told, #position, #no explination, #just a trick, #feel less awkward, #hot replacement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "What? You never told me there was anything wrong with my performance!" The Boss says, "It's not about your performance. Your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "Well, that seems mighty convenient." Ted says, "This way you can replace me without explaining why I never got a bad performance review." Ted says, "is this just a trick to make you feel less awkward while firing me?" A woman says, "I thought you said he'd be gone by now." The Boss says, "Is there any comfort in knowing your replacement is totally hot?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #hit with rock, #prefrontal cortex, #hurting poepl, #natural leader, #bunk on back of head, #dont remeber

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Where am I? What happened?" Dogbert says, "Someone hit you with a rock." Dogbert says, "The swelling in your prefrontal cortex will make you care less about hurting people, thus making you a natural leader." "Dilbert says, "There's also a bump on the back of my head." Dogbert says, "That's so you don't remember who threw the rocks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #masters degree, #business, #promoted to management, #less useful, #3 years, #night classes, #rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #retirement plans, #for losers, #winners keep jobs, #no stress, #free coffee, #cost estimates, #worthless leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Wally, what do you plan to do after you retire?" Wally says, "Retirement is for losers, Asok." Wally says, "Winners keep their jobs but stop caring about the quality of their work." Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty sure the winner in that example is the leech."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #colossal waste, #different light, #less usless, #unimportant, #staff meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."