Planning On Listening Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for Planning On Listening

View 151 - 160 results for planning on listening comic strips. Discover the best "Planning On Listening" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #make copy, #secretary, #more cost effective, #highly paid, #document, #high level plnning, #secretary takes lunch, #never makes copy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #statement of core values, #change behavior, #planning to poiosn, #sarcasm, #necessary

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks by Dilbert, who follows holding a piece of paper and says, "Can you explain how the company's new "Statement of Core Values" will change my behavior?" The Boss sits down at his desk. Dilbert continues, "I was planning to poison the town's water supply. But wait! It's against our core values!" The Boss says, "Is your sarcasm absolutely necessary?" Dilbert checks the document and says, "Let me check. Hmm... it's not addressed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #rather the consultant, #strategy optuons, #matrix, #four boxes, #something, #phase two, #concentric circles, #labels and arrows

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands in front of a dry erase board and says, "Your strategy options can be shown in this matrix." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table listening to the presentation. Ratbert continues, "The four boxes are 'Something . . . Something . . . Some other thing and whatever.'" Ratbert continues, "In phase two I hope to turn this matrix into concentric circles with labels and arrows." The Boss thinks, "I'm under the consultant's spell."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #budget cuts, #do more with less, #first staff meeting, #less planning, #unnecessary work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #promise the customer, #build in month, #timing probelm, #shifting blame, #engineering, #spending huge bonus, #blame transfer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. A salesman tells them, "I had to promise the customer we could build the thing in a month even though you said it was impossible." The salesperson continues, "I'll solve the timing problem by shifting blame to engineering while spending the huge bonus I got for the sale." Dilbert says, "Your planning has improved." The man closes his eyes and says, "Beginning blame transfer now . . ." The other people at the table growl.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #computer screen, #drivers side window, #interpersonal skills, #stupid person, #windshield gone, #without rolling eyes, #yugo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a stool and Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "This lesson in interpersonal skills involves listening to a stupid person without rolling your eyes." A man says, "My computer screen says, 'Press any key to continue.' Can I borrow your keys? Mine are locked in my Yugo." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Must focus . . . Must . . . Focus . . ." The man says, "I could break the driver's side window . . . But it's bad enough that the windshield is gone."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alice crazy, #can't complain, #screen saver, #wally clipping nails, #made recording, #alice, #wally annoying sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk listening to sounds coming over the cubicle wall. She clenches her teeth and thinks, "Oh, no . . . It's the maddening sound of Wally clipping his nails." Alice thinks, "The sound makes me crazy, but I can't complain because it would sound silly. Must . . . Wait . . ." Dilbert stands behind Wally and asks, "You made your own screen saver?" Wally replies, "It's called 'Wally's 101 Annoying Cubicle Sounds.'" The sound of slurping comes from his computer.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #voice mail message, #department, #quality thought, #websters dictionary, #african mammel, #aardvark, #shared printer, #spewing resume

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "This voice mail message is for the whole department." The Boss continues, "Every morning from now on you'll get my 'Quality Thought of the Day.'" The Boss continues, "Today's thought is . . . Um . . ." The Boss looks in a desk drawer and continues, "Let's see . . . According to Webster's dictionary . . ." The Boss continues, "Aardvark is a burrowing African mammal that eats ants." The Boss continues, "What if we were more like that?" Dilbert sits at his desk listening to the message. The Boss continues, "I mean like the aardvark, not the ants . . ." Alice looks at her phone. The Boss stands by the printer thinking, "That's weird. Every time I leave my Quality Thought of the Day, the shared printer starts spewing resumes." Dilbert and Wally peek around the corner.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #budget trap, #quick estimate, #next project, #rough estimate, #wild guess, #beudget, #two million dollars, #can't afford

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "The Budget Trap." The Boss says, "I need a quick estimate for how much your next project will cost, Wally." Wally replies, "How should I know? You haven't even told me what my next project is." The Boss says, "That's okay. I only need a rough estimate for planning purposes." Wally says, "I see where this is going. You're going to turn my wild guess into a budget. Later I'll be blamed when it's wrong." The Boss replies, "No, no. I won't hold you to these numbers." Wally says, "Well . . . Okay, let's say two million dollars." The Boss says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Can't afford that. I'll put you down for twenty thousand dollars." The caption says, "One year later . . ." The Boss sits at his desk and says to Wally, "You're way over budget. Can you show me the cause?" Wally replies, "It depends. Can mirrors reflect your image?"