Raise Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
202 Results for Raise
View 151 - 160 results for raise comic strips. Discover the best "Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 12,
1998
Tags cubicle, land on moon, temperature, oxygen levels, space program, hoax, nasa hiding, love engineers
Transcript
The cubicle lands on the moon. Dilbert says, "We're the first cubicle to land on the moon." Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the surface of the moon. Dilbert says, "The temperature and oxygen levels are fine. Apparently the space program is a hoax." Dogbert says, "NASA must be hiding something here." Two women appear. The women hold wine glasses and wear dresses. The brunette says, "Hi. We're the women who love engineers." The blond has a heart above her head. Dilbert's hair and tie stick straight up. Dilbert's eyebrows raise. Dobert's ear's fly up.
Monday March 30,
1998
Tags above salary midpoint, stock options, interpersonal skills
Transcript
In The Boss's office, The Boss tells Alice, "I can't give you a raise because you're above the salary midpoint. But at least your stock options are doing great!" Alice says, "I don't have any stock options." The Boss says, "Oh. I'm probably thinking of me." The Boss says, "Next, it says I should coach you on your interpersonal skills."
Sunday March 29,
1998
Tags 2 percent raise, not challenging, exceeded golas, no complaining, walls performance, complained all year, weasel, stab him in back
Transcript
Alice is sitting at the Boss's desk. He tells her, "I can only give you a two percent raise this year, Alice." He adds, "Because your job was not very challenging." Alice asks, "How could you possibly not think it was challenging?" The Boss replies, "You exceeded all your goals without complaining." The Boss adds, "Compare that to Wally's performance. He complained all year." The Boss: "And he missed every goal! Now THAT'S a challenging job!" Alice shouts, "Wally is a filthy weasel!!!" As Alice leaves, furious, the Boss adds, "Maybe his hygiene isn't the best, but he was right when he said you would stab him in the back."
Wednesday October 29,
1997
Tags Catbert, evil hr director, java coding, raise salary, spinning head, 10 years experience
Transcript
Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"
Thursday August 07,
1997
Tags analysts, got a raise, growth, lazy ones, open book management, smooth earnigs, stock market, money
Transcript
The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."
Sunday June 29,
1997
Tags ten percent raise, fifteen percent more, twenty percent, no budget, raises, give big raises, reward for leaving work, price sheet
Transcript
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "I want a ten-percent raise." The Boss replies, "There's no budget for raises." Dilbert holds up a letter and says, "I have an offer from another company that will pay fifteen percent more." The Boss says, "I'll give you twenty percent if you stay." Dilbert says, "I thought you said there's no budget for raises." The Boss replies, "Well . . . It's supposed to be a secret but . . ." The Boss says, "Our policy is to give big raises to people who spend their time interviewing for other jobs." Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "Good news! The secret company policy is to reward disloyalty!" They cheer and shout, "Yes! Yippee!" Wally asks, "What's the reward for leaving work early?" Dilbert replies, "He wouldn't show me the price sheet."
Sunday June 22,
1997
Tags save money, copier ink, add water, copies light, compensate, darken, implement, Dilbert, creative thinker, implantation task, bigger raise, creative way
Transcript
Wally tells the Boss, "I have a great idea to save money." Wally enter the Boss's office and continues, "We can make the photocopier ink last longer by adding water to it." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that make the copies too light?" Wally replies, "Ordinarily, yes. But we can compensate by setting the copier to 'darken.'" Wally says, "You'll need someone to implement this idea . . . Let's see." Wally says, "Hey, how about Dilbert? He isn't doing much work lately." Wally continues, "I'd do it myself but there's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you still mad that I got a bigger raise than you did?" Wally replies, "No, I found a creative way to deal with it."
Friday June 06,
1997
Tags Dogbert, bearer bad news, wally fired, videos, stealing stuff, one percent raise
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Wally, your boss asked me to tell you . . ." Dogbert shouts, "You're fired!!! And they have secret videos of you stealing stuff!!!" Wally looks shocked and his tie stands up straight. Wally covers his eyes and says, "This can't be true." Dogbert replies, "It's not. But watch how happy you are when I tell you about your one percent raise."
Monday May 12,
1997
Tags cactus shreiks, cold, freezing, other warm, raise temp, wally shirtless
Transcript
Alice shivers and wraps her arms around herself. She thinks, "It's freezing in here." Alice thinks, "I'll just give the thermostat a little bump." Wally approaches Alice wearing only a tie and underwear. Wally asks, "Can we at least agree that when my cactus shrieks in agony, it's too warm?" Alice replies, "It wasn't shrieking BEFORE you took your shirt off."
Friday April 18,
1997
Tags Catbert, evil hr dierctor, life insurance policy, raise blood pressure, dangerous levels, fifty time salary, ceo
Transcript
Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"


