Rich People Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
1000 Results for Rich People
View 151 - 160 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 08,
2017
Tags character, judging, prediction, reading, con
Transcript
Boss: I'm a good judge of people. Dilbert: Really? What am I thinking right now? Boss: Hmmm... You're wondering how you could be more like me. You admire my leadership, and you write about me in glowing terms in your diary. Dilbert: What diary? Boss: Shhh! I'm still reading you. You have no patience and you don't like to be judged. Dilbert: Okay, that's enough. Boss: Nailed it!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday September 27,
2017
Everyone Says Dilbert Lied
Tags rumor, accusation, conclusions
Transcript
Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Friday August 25,
2017
500 Pages Would Be Rubbish
Tags writing, criticism, technical writer, warning, caution, safety
Transcript
Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.
Thursday August 17,
2017
Ideal Customer
Tags market research, sham, yes-man, demographics
Transcript
Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.
Sunday July 30,
2017
Tags boss, leadership, power, influence
Transcript
Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags virtual reality, civil rights, discrimination, artificial intelligence, rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.
Saturday June 24,
2017
No Path To Success
Tags collusion, russia, donald trump, blame, accusation, public opinion
Transcript
Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.
Tuesday June 20,
2017
Dilbert Might Be Colluding
Tags collusion, trump, russia, rumor, conjecture
Transcript
CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.
Monday June 19,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos
Tags accusation, hearsay, conjecture, gullible
Transcript
Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.

