System Crashed Comic Strips - Page 16

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270 Results for System Crashed

View 151 - 160 results for system crashed comic strips. Discover the best "System Crashed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting, expense figures, base ten, counting system, full range, odds and even, hp printer ink, finance troll

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"Accounting" "Can you explain these expense figures?" "It's a base ten accounting system with a full range of odd and even digits." "This isn't helping." "Tastes like hp printer ink... high gloss paper, four hours old."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scientits, unethical scientits, human clone, infomercial

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Dogbert: My wealth - building system has been verified by actual scientists. Dogbert: where can I find an unethical scientist? And if Im to busy, my human clone can do your infomercial. Dogbert: good prices.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hairball, stock options, evil director, human resources, bous system, kindness of management, business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invoice, preferred vendor system, quality product, scowl, small biuinessman

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I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting system, profitable, manage randomlt, claim success, funding, hug

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"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trolls, hell, payroll system, automated sadistic, phone system, tech support, complicated

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Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cpr on blob, fire in break room, sprinkler system, water melketed, witch melted

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The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags involuntary sepration, payroll, fired, can't touch anything, way of saying fired

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"Ted, you're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." "I'm fired." "No-o-o-o. It's just that you won't be part of the payroll system." "And you're not allowed to touch anything."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, new hire, bottleneck, bill, titanium

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Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags egos, europe to denver, lies, made up, management retreat, middle management, press release, top

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Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.