Television News Comic Strips - Page 16

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248 Results for Television News

View 151 - 160 results for television news comic strips. Discover the best "Television News" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no raises, appliances, television, fridge, lava lamp, jar of mayonnaise, dog, boss, dilberet, animals, Entertainment

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"This year, instead of raises we're giving appliances." "What?!" "High performers could get a color television or a new 'fridge." "He called it a 'lava lamp'." "I call it a jar of old mayonnaise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags out bidding, control, dsn, creative investoment, money, consultants, spending, fast

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"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, world will end, year 2000, compelling logic, news

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Dogbert: I've become a doomsday prophet so I can scare gullible people. Im telling everyone the world will end in year 2000. My compelling logic is that 2000 is a big round number. Dogbert: Its BIIIG and ROOUND Dilbert: Stop it!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad news, break gradually, budget worked on, build up, effort, reorganizing dept., worthless, you're fired

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The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 3d stereo, life like sound, high def, video, life yet

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Dilbert: "I've got my 3-D stereo for life-like sound..." "I've got hgh definition television for life-like video..." "Do you have a life yet?" "No, but I'm darn close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratio, liquidity to stupidity, reincarnation fund, 985 water, cheap suit, amazing brain

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Dogbert: Good news - your ratio of liquidity is very low. You qualify to invest in my reincarnation fund. Man: If my ratio is low, that means IM ...uh... Made of liquid. Dogbert: Id say you're 98% water, 2% cheap suit, and whats left is your amazing brain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags watching tv, Dilbert, Dogbert, cable tv, man, woman

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Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "This show is garbage. I will eschew it." Dilbert uses the remote control to change the channel. Dilbert and Dogbert watch tv. Dogbert says, "That explains your breath." Dilbert asks, "You're in your own little world, aren't you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, tv, tv commercial

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Ratbert stands in front of the television. An announcer asks, "Are you tired of fad diets and fad exercise devices?" Ratbert replies, "Yes, I am!" Dogbert appears in the commercial and says, "Then buy my book and get the revolutionary Joggerobic Carpet Patch for only $19.95 plus shipping and handling." Dogbert continues, "To prove it works, we photographed an actual athlete." Ratbert says, "Pictures don't lie!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, park bench, noriko, classes, lives, television, channels

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Dogbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko says, "I can't wait to grow up and get out of school." Dogbert says, "Actually, Noriko, your generation will have to take classes and work full-time your whole lives . . . Assuming any jobs exist." Dogbert continues, "But on the plus side, television will have a thousand channels." Noriko yells, "That's it; somebody's got some explaining to do!"