Turn On Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

205 Results for Turn On

View 151 - 160 results for turn on comic strips. Discover the best "Turn On" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security, #equipment removal, #authorization, #signatures, #turn tables, #sign form, #birth certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok, #alice, #report to alice, #email, #difficult communications

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks with Asok into Alice's cubicle. The boss says, "From now on, Asok, you'll report to Alice instead of me." The boss says, "You can never directly speak to me again. Everything must go through Alice." Asok turn to Alice. Asok says, "Tell him I understand." Alice says, "Submit your request by e-mail."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach morons, #high level jobs, #addicted to wagging, #ear clokwise, #tongue in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slow witted coworkers, #lunch room, #eating lunch, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at lunch with Wally and Dilbert. Alice says, "I'd love my job if not for my slow-witted co-workers." No reaction. Wally says, "Am not." Dilbert turn to Wally and says, "You're drinking my soda again!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crown, #Dogbert, #charismatic leaders, #fill void, #egomaniacal philandering sociopaths

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur looking at Dogbert, who is wearing a crown and staring at himself in a mirror. Bob inquires, "What's the crown for?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "There aren't any charismatic leaders in the world lately. I'm going to fill the void." Bob asks, "Don't charismatic leaders usually turn out to be egomaniacal, philandering sociopaths?" Dogbert looks into the mirror and replies, "And they look good in hats!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #balance, #life and work, #worked 80 hrs week, #selfish hag

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, "Alice, the experts say you need to balance work and home life." Catbert says, "You worked 80 hours last week. That's less than half of the hours in a week." Catbert says, "Give us some balance, you selfish hag." Alice replies, "This conversation took a nasty turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cobol programmer, #millenium problem, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We need COBOL programmers for our mainframe millenium problem." The Boss says, "If you see anyone that looks like a COBOL programmer, let me know." Dilbert says, "Turn around." Bob the dinosaur is walking around the corner. The Boss says to Bob, "Are you a COBOL programmer?" Bob says, "No, but I'm often told I look like one." The Boss says, "You're hired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #during takeouff, #laptop computer, #plane control, #takeoff, #plane descent, #excel, #pilot communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol, the Boss's secretary, sits in her cubicle. She says to the Boss, "Have a nice flight. Remember to turn on your laptop during takeoff." The Boss says, "I thought they tell you to turn it OFF." Carol responds, "Off?!! How would they transfer control to you if they had trouble?" A jet falls straight down towards the ground. The pilot screams, "Turn off that !*#$ laptop!" The Boss says, "No way! I have to land this baby!... Can I do that in 'Excel'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #company emperor, #wheelbarrows, #salary, #downsized, #buzz saw dogbert, #parent company, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a filing cabinet. He wears a crown and holds a scepter. The Boss bows before him. Dogbert says, "Tell the employees to get wheelbarrows to carry my salary out." Dogbert says, "Turn out the lights when you're done. You're all downsized. Shoo!" The Boss leaves in a daze. Caption: The Media Loved Him A mob of reporters surrounds Dogbert's filing cabinet. One reporter says, "Can we call you 'Buzz Saw Dogbert'?" Dogbert says, "I bought your parent company today. You're downsized. Shoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recyclable, #trash container, #two containers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the janitor, "I notice you have only one trash container with you..." Dilbert holds up two trash cans. He says, "Whereas I have two containers - one for trash and one for recyclable materials." Dilbert says, "One theory is that you make two trips to each cubicle..." THe janitor says, "Could you turn around for a second?"