Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags proactive, boring meeting, fake death, coffee is posioned, stiffen, easier to drag, pose, obscene, spread eagle, casket, dispose of body, Wally

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Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new corporate policy, boss reads, alice, falls asleep, boring, wordy dcoument

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The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hate your plan, real plan, opposite, nice worm, offers worms

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Dilbert stands in front of a room full of angry people. The people shout, "We hate your plan!!!" Dilbert stands next to the overhead projector an points to the wall onto which "Real Plan" has been projected. Dilbert says, "Good, because the REAL plan is the opposite of what I just showed you." The people remain with their mouths wide open. Dilbert holds a worm. Dilbert says, "Who wants a nice worm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job counseling, disguise fact, moron, knowledge mangement, optimization intiatives, key learnings

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Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags teach morons, high level jobs, addicted to wagging, ear clokwise, tongue in

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unicorn horn, Dilbert, date, sign of virility

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Dilbert is on a dinner date. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing from his forehead. The date's eyes are wide from shock. Dilbert says, "Lately, I've been growing a unicorn horn." Dilbert says, "In some cultures, this would be a sign of great virility." The date has left Dilbert alone at the table. Dilbert thinks, "It's time to admit that I don't know what women want."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ambiguity, another situation, irrational concerns, headphones, pretend to listen

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The Boss points at an overhead projection. The Boss says, "That's the plan. Now I will pretend to listen to your irrational concerns." The Boss puts on headphones. The boss says, "Go!" Dilbert and Wally look at the boss who has closed his eyes and leaned back, listening to music. Dilbert says, "This is another situation wear ambiguity would be better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee talent show, charity, tickets, give money, forget idea

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Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're having an all-employee talent show for charity. Tickets are three dollars!" Alice rolls her eyes. Alice says, "We'll give you three dollars apiece to forget the whole thing. It works out the same." The Boss says, "Deal." Alice says, "Ironically, math is my only talent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 12 page response, email, decisons, read reaction, fyi

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Alice, Dilbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Alice, thank you for your twelve-page response to my e-mail last week." Alice smiles. Ted says, "But I was only sending it to you as an "FYI". Those decisions are already made." Alice's eyes widen. Alice grimaces, hands clench into fists of death. Ted says, "If I read your reaction right, you're wondering why I didn't say FYI on my e-mail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, grossly underpaid, type of work, current duities, compensation review, true story, not qualified, subordinate is qualified

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.