With People Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for With People

View 151 - 160 results for with people comic strips. Discover the best "With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Will Send You A List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Will Send You A List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #target, #complicated, #detail, #list

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: and i plan to meet my targets by doing a variety of complicated things. boss: what kind of things? wally: i'll send you a detailed list. boss: what if you forget to send it? wally: with any luck, you'll forget you asked for it.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Hiring Morons And Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.

Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Wise Person Said

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #wise, #person, #boil, #stick, #egg, #Advice, #proverb, #threat, #overrate

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Dogbert The Futurist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Futurist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #futurist, #predict, #hire, #industry, #time, #business, #hard, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a futurist to predict where our industry is headed. dogbert: you don't need to be here. you might want to enjoy the time you have left. office worker: what? dogbert: for the rest of you, i see hard work with no rewards.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Selling Private Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #money, #die, #ghost, #password, #bitcoin, #clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Dogbert In The Cloud

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert In The Cloud   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.