Work Comic Strips - Page 16
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1000 Results for Work
View 151 - 160 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 27,
2019
Tags argument, boss, business, change, frustration, managers & supervisors, money, salary, company
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!
Thursday January 24,
2019
Self Driving Car Quits
Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, technology
Transcript
Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.
Monday January 14,
2019
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption
Tags distraction, engineering, frustrated, jobs, office workers, listen
Transcript
Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.
Sunday January 06,
2019
Tags argument, boss, complaining, eating, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sounds
Transcript
Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.
Friday January 04,
2019
No Raise For Dilbert
Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, work, salary
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?
Saturday December 29,
2018
Alice Gets Mandatory Training
Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat
Transcript
Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!
Thursday December 27,
2018
Working With Old Ned
Tags elderly, men and women, office workers, old
Transcript
Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?
Tuesday December 18,
2018
Bringing The Outdoors In
Tags desk, excited, nature, office, office workers
Transcript
Dilbert: Something exciting happened at work today. We reconfigured the cubicles, and now I have a partial view of a potted plant. Dogbert: You're happy about seeing half of a potted plant? Dilbert: I call it bringing the outdoors in.
Sunday December 16,
2018
Tags confused, irritation, misunderstanding, office, office workers, requests
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you finish the specs I asked you for last week? Ted: You didn't follow up with me on that, so I assumed you didn't need them. Dilbert: I didn't need to follow up. I asked for the specs by today, and you said you would have them done. Ted: Yes, but then you didn't ask me again. Dilbert: There was no reason to ask you again. Ted: Obviously there was a reason because asking me once didn't work. Dilbert: Can you finish it by next week? Ted: Yes. Dilbert: Good. Ted: As long as you follow up.
Saturday December 15,
2018
Fly On Weekend
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, evil, cheap
Transcript
Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.


