Tina Comic Strips - Page 16
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View 151 - 160 results for Tina comic strips. Discover the best "Tina" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."
Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."
The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!
Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."
The boss says, "How are your kids?" Tina says, "I don't have any kids." The boss says, "Are you sure?" Tina says, "That's the sort of thing I'd remember." The boss says, "Maybe they?re hiding." Tina says, "Be wrong! Just be wrong!"
The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"
Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."
The Boss: Tina, I need you to edit this before I send it out. Sure. I could use a good laugh. Let's start with the words that aren't words." Incentiment...robustify...flexitate...and leadershipping." "I'll take those out and see what's left." "'If you're not onboard with quality excellence, you're underboard.'" "WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" "Why do I even bother trying to moralify these people."
Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."