Asked To Clone Comic Strips - Page 16

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254 Results for Asked To Clone

View 151 - 160 results for asked to clone comic strips. Discover the best "Asked To Clone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy, #no shame, #pour coffee, #budget estimate

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Dilbert says, "Rumor has it that you're pretending to hear things wrong to avoid work." Wally says, "It works great. The secret is to have no shame whatsoever." Coworker says, "Wally, do you have the revised budget estimate?" Wally says, "No, because you asked for a remized bugmet yestitet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #teeth, #dentist, #vampire tips, #fangs, #fear, #excited, #mouth open, #walrus

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The Boss says, "I asked my dentist to put vampire tips on my incisors so I'd be more intimidating." The Boss says, "Here comes Alice. Watch me put the fear into her." Alice says, "You need to lose a few pounds to pull of the vampire look. This is more of a walrus vibe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #annoyed, #angry, #put off work, #information, #time, #broomstick, #witch

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Dilbert says, "Sorry, I didn't have time to get the information you asked for." Woman says, "You're saying that for an entire week, every single thing you did was more important than my ten-minute request?" Dilbert says, "Yes, but the way I said it doesn't make me think of a broomstick."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #walking, #talking, #complaining, #Sports

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Dilbert says, "today I got in trouble for not doing something that I wasn't aware needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Yesterday I got in trouble for doing something that no one asked me to do, but needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Tomorrow I plan to sit in my cubicle like a frozen you-know-what and avoid all human contact." Dogbert says, "Does it rhyme with 'Bird'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #writing, #newsletter, #reading, #ridicule, #Family, #annoyed

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Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #budget, #suggestion, #ridicule, #annouyed, #business

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The boss says, "I've been asked to cut the fat out of this department." Wally says, "If the department has fat in it, that's a symptom of bad management. Maybe you should fire yourself." The boss says, "I wasn't asking for suggestions." Wally says, "Geez, way to be critical during brain storming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #yelling, #angry, #annoyed, #ridiculous, #suggestion

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The boss says, "Did you tell a customer that you're not allowed to talk to customers?" Dilbert says, "Yes." The boss says, "You fool! That makes us look lame!" Dilbert says, "What was I supposed to do when she asked me a question?" The boss says, "Did you have access to scissors?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridiculous, #waste, #time, #pointing, #useless, #stupidity

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Man says, "Someone borrowed the unit you asked to see, so I'll show you pictures of models you aren't interested in." Man says, "There's one you don't want?And you sure don't want that one?" Dilbert says, "And how does this help?" Man says, "Would you like a CD of products we no longer carry?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #wings, #halo, #lying, #disappearing, #work, #side effects, #medication, #business

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Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

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Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."