Book Deal Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

215 Results for Book Deal

View 151 - 160 results for book deal comic strips. Discover the best "Book Deal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gambling casino, bad luck, casino, extraordinary bad luck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on his couch, reading a book. Dogbert stands on the armrest and says, "I plan to open a gambling casino for people who have extraordinarily bad luck." Dilbert asks, "How can you tell who has extraordinarily bad luck?" Dogbert replies, "They would be the ones that go to my casino."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags great leader, read books, inspired leaders for centuries, first pyramids, 12 year old pharoah, look naughty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing next to a stack of books on The Boss' desk. He says, "If you want to be a great leader, read the books that have inspired leaders for centuries." Dogbert holds up a book and says, "For example, the first pyramids were built after a twelve-year-old pharaoh read this book." The Boss reads the title, "Things That Look Naughty From Miles Away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disappointing people, meeting start late, answer is misleading, deadline ignored, work is shoddy, empthy, blocking view of wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dance with death, secreatry, desk, work to early grave, first to drop, good morning, first thing, competition, resentment, anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wretched slaves, freinds, private offcies, cubilces, roman general, dogbertious, slaves, treatment, evil dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags become irreplaceable, escaped felon, gain trust, biggest cutsomers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wall: "I need to become irreplaceable so I can't be fired for my behavior." "I'll gain the trust of our biggest customer so they'll only deal with me." "I probably shouldn't say this, but everyone in my company except me is an escaped felon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chapter 23, photo copy, see how yourself, books, full of information, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Dilbert with a book in hand. The Boss says, "Let's see.. your defects are discussed in chapter 23." The Boss continues, "I'll give you a photocopy so you can see how to fix it yourself." As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "Books are full of information."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broken promises, scammers, lies, vendor, salesman, telling lies, deadlines, software, few extras, unfinished features, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, help balancing, personal life, no love, sound sunhealthy, pill crybaby, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags core values, integrity, value, honesty, excellence, inherent conflicts, fund na dpassionate, all of them, hygiene

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.