Brain Explode Comic Strips - Page 16

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214 Results for Brain Explode

View 151 - 160 results for brain explode comic strips. Discover the best "Brain Explode" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #patents, #patent applications, #desiccated turnip

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CEO: Put my name above yours on all of your patent applications. Because your brain, without the genius of my leadership, would be like a desiccated turnip. All you are, and all you will ever be... Dilbet: Right... got it... name on patent...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #corporate yoga, #power poses, #realizing testosterone, #office, #cubicle

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Boss: What's this? Dilbert: It's corporate yoga. I'm using victory and power poses to trick my brain into releasing testosterone to make me more of a leader. Alice: I don't know what this is, but I want in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #sadistic monster, #income tax code, #complicated, #regressive tax codes, #like minds

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Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dog, #financial planner, #troglodyte, #Advice, #soften up, #meeting, #insult, #yell, #scream, #put down, #animals, #business

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Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #wally fired, #exit interview, #manipulation, #rigged system, #boss, #exploding servers

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Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #report, #oil rigs, #explode, #medicine, #bacteria, #pharmaceuticals, #government, #share holder, #success, #lie

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The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #invention, #scientist, #music player, #throw coffee cup, #kung fu, #knock out, #steal idea, #science

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Man says, "I invented a music device that reads your brain waves and only plays songs that fit your mood." The Boss says, "Kung Fu coffee cup!" BONK! The Boss says, "Hey, look what I invented!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #sales, #bonus, #boss, #raise target, #engineer, #connect cables, #computers, #time machine, #marketing, #liquor, #business, #engineering

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Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liqour and guessing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #tv newsroom, #switches off brain, #abilities, #science segment, #film celebrities, #rational decisions

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TV Newsroom Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that switches off the brain's ability to make rational decisions." Dilbert says, "I think it would make a good story for your science segment." Man says, "Or we could drug-dart celebrities and film what happens." Dilbert says, "For science, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #office, #rudeness, #anger, #frustration

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Carol says, "This office is freezing. Why aren't you cold?" Dilbert says, "My brain is much larger than yours. It heats my entire body when I think." Dilbert says, "But whatever you're doing now seems to be working too." Carol thinks, "#!*$0!%"