Business People Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 151 - 160 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reengineering, questioning employees, get fired, objective data, business process, flying monkeys, finished design

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: engineering is simple. you start by questioning the employees who would get fired if you succeeded. The Boss: Then you use data to design a more efficient business process. Dilbert: So...you say you use flying monkeys to deliver the finished design? Men: They're very fast.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, preliminary recommendation, radically reengineered, business process, coughed skull, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's our preliminary recommendation for radically reengineering our business processes. AAAGH! COUGH SPOINT! Dilbert: He coughed up his skull. Dogbert: I bet that smarts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no raise, engineers wuit, the goal, reduce headcount, smart people leave, organize pot luck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, consulting company, new course, business, extra brains, liver, ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert the consultant, analytical mind, business consultant, socially dysfunctional, brought in, consulatant

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the Consultant Dogbert: It takes more than a brilliant analytical mind to be a business consultant, You also need to be arrogant and socially dysfunctional, Ratbert: Does anybody know what a consultant was brought in to do your thinking? anybody? anbbody?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags imagine, being a woman, men in training, people acknowledge, can't find keys, blouse falls off, distorted view, misogyny

View Transcript

Transcript

"In this sensitivity excercise, close your eyes and imagine how it feels to be a woman." "People acknowledge my existence. They smile for no reason and hold hte door open. I'm ...I'm popular." "I can't find my keys." "I'm never going back. I can't. I won't." "My blouse falls to the floor..." "Break! Break!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book publishing, reject people, dismiss lifes work, gesture, witty comment, not a people person, dog, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired, hired back, other people are smarter, wally is dumb, boss is dumb, more money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally? I thought you got fired. Wally: I did. But people outside the company appear smarter, so they hired me back as a consultant for way more money. wally: Did you understand that? Don't feel embarrassed to ask for help on the hard stuff.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consulting comany, executive compensation, ninety percent, overpaid, repeat business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags never managed, marketing people, do marketing things, segments, focus groups, segmenting, dominate industry, motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've never managed marketing people before. But a good manager can manage anything." "So...I order you to go do marketing things...like segmenting and focus groups..." "And keep focusing and segmenting until we dominate the industry!!!" Worker: "Well, I'm motivated."