Can't Wear Jeans Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Can't Wear Jeans

View 151 - 160 results for can't wear jeans comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Wear Jeans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay, #economy, #nervous, #crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Asok, we need to cut your pay again. But maybe you could get a second job." Asok the intern says, "Second???" Asok the intern says, "I am already doing freelance I.T. support?and donating blood?and working as a male escort." Catbert says, "I don't need the details." Asok the intern says, "Running guns...Robbing graves...Starting a hedge fund..."`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worried, #bragging, #money, #foreclosure, #angry, #insensitive

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typing, #lazy, #idea, #trick, #deception, #managing, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #Environment, #confronting, #perception, #hot, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We replaced our styrofoam cups with paper cups, but it's not so clear that it helps the planet." The boss says, "We didn?t do it to help the planet. We did it to look like the sort of company that cares about that sort of thing." DIlbert says, "Oh. In that case it's working great." The boss says, "As soon as you stop whining."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #excuse, #meeting, #annoyed, #angry, #frustration, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #facts, #thimble, #knowledge, #suggestion, #technology, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Here's the mountain of facts that support my recommended technology strategy." Dilbert says, "And here's a tiny thimble that holds everything you know about technology. Maybe you could?" Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like it when you suggest they wear the thimble of knowledge like a little hat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #taliban, #hearing, #lying, #emailing, #spam, #toilet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I don?t do what you ask me to do, it?s because my hearing aid fell in the toilet." The Boss says, "I didn't know you had a hearing problem." Wally says, "EH? WHAT? EH?" Wally says, "You could try e-mailing me, but I have my spam filter cranked up to "Taliban"."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agree, #disagree, #idea, #plan, #terrible idea, #worst ever idea, #bordering irresponsible, #disagrees with everyone, #idea is awful, #manipulate me, #terrible tidea, #dance puppet dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #late, #confused, #yelling, #stupidity, #excuses, #uncooperative, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #idea, #pitch, #bored, #time, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our next presenter is Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I put together a slide show and video." Dilbert says, "While it's running, I'll perform a humorous rap song about the benefits of our product." Dilbert says, "Then each of you will wear a funny hat and participate in a skit." Dilbert says, "Later we'll enjoy a ventriloquist who dresses in a beaver suit and threatens to eat his dummy." Dilbert says, "We'll top it off with a trivia contest, prizes, fireworks in the atrium." Man says, "What can you do in two minutes? We need to catch a plane." Dilbert thinks, "I should have gone with the slide show." Man says, "Mmph"