Customer Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
216 Results for Customer
View 151 - 160 results for customer comic strips. Discover the best "Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 11,
2006
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday September 13,
2006
Thursday September 14,
2006
Transcript
Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."
Tuesday November 21,
2006
Monday August 06,
2012
Tags business meeting, cup of water, not impressed, fill sink, bring own cup, not impressive, optics
Transcript
Customer: I'd like to do business with your company, but I'm concerned that the only beverage you can afford to offer me is water from the restroom sink... and I need to bring my own cup. Dilbert: I also offered to fill the sink and let you lap it out. Customer: And now I'm thirsty!
Sunday September 09,
2012
Tags automobile driving, company car, crazy, data center, directions, gadgets, gps directions, gps navigation system
Transcript
Boss: Take a company car and meet a customer at our data center on Montgomery and Pine. Dilbert: I can't drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice. She'll spend the entire trip arguing with the GPS navigation system. Boss: No one does that. Dilbert: Allow me to demonstrate. My phone says we should take this route. Alice: What?! Is it crazy? We are not taking 880! Change your mind! Change your mind! Change your mind! Dilbert: It gets worse. Alice: If you listen to this liar, I will end you.
Sunday September 16,
2012
Tags emergency, lostphone, company id, keys, critical folder, self generated crisi, dead battery, small brown purse
Transcript
Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?
Thursday January 31,
2013
Tags fear, inventions, machine learning, track customers, machines take over, annihilate all humans
Transcript
CEO: Our machine learning technology allows us to track customer preferences and use that knowledge to manipulate them. Dilbert: That seems like the step that happens right before the machines take over the earth and annihilate all humans. CEO: There's always one person in every crowd who says that. Dilbert: Not for much longer, apparently.
Thursday April 03,
2008
Tags project, customer calls, can't deliver on time, features needed, getting waterboarded, birthday, price went up
Transcript
Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."
Wednesday January 13,
2010
Tags customers, product design, dumb, hat, monkey, software, meeting, computer, annoyed, technology, animals, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to get our customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."

