Data Center Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

210 Results for Data Center

View 151 - 160 results for data center comic strips. Discover the best "Data Center" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bench mark results, #ten minute explination, #in sales, #here you go

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, do you have the bench-mark results?" "Do you want the ten-minute explanation of why the data are useless, or a simple "Here you go"?" "I'm in sales." "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian hackers are trying to steal our source code. "Send our goons to beat them up." "I was thinking more along the lines of improving our data security." "Improve it or else I'll have our goons beat you up." "This is surprisingly motivational." "Youse call dat a firewall?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Your resume looks great. I see no reason you wouldn't be an excellent phone center employee. "Mwab blah glob wobmah tob muh wah wah." "This job got a lot less stressful once I realized I hate our customers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I need some data from an unreachable guy named Ed. What should I do? "Just make up a bunch of data like everyone else does." "Everyone else does that?" "Are you doubting my data?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Does marketing have any data on customer preferences? Errr grunt! "This is disturbing on so many levels."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults "You need a dashboard application to track your key metrics." "That way you'll have more data to ignore when you make your decisions based on company politics." "Will the data be accurate?" "Okay, let's pretend that matters."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company news letter, #compile beta test, #in memorium, #newsletter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."