Department Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

226 Results for Department

View 151 - 160 results for department comic strips. Discover the best "Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, the marketing department requested your help." "Me?" "Our new product is worthless, much like yourself. They figured you'd have some insight." "All it does is occupy space and smell bad." "Well, it's definitely a gift item."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We've got a dead guy in cubicle D-32. "Uh-oh." "Do you have any idea how much paperwork it causes when someone dies in one of my cubicles?" "Ten more feet to the marketing department."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your blog has become an embarrassment to the company." "You have failed me. Now you must pay the price." "Oh, crud. I need you to call the facilities department for me...and come back tomorrow." snap

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand what your department does, so I decided to eliminate it." "What if I explain what we do? Would you change your mind?" "I see you're not a big fan of decisiveness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I need to quantify the benefits of our department. Any ideas? "I recommend dishonesty." "Would that work?" "It made me the man I am today."