Department Comic Strips - Page 16

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226 Results for Department

View 151 - 160 results for department comic strips. Discover the best "Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

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"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."

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"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

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"Wally, the marketing department requested your help." "Me?" "Our new product is worthless, much like yourself. They figured you'd have some insight." "All it does is occupy space and smell bad." "Well, it's definitely a gift item."

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We've got a dead guy in cubicle D-32. "Uh-oh." "Do you have any idea how much paperwork it causes when someone dies in one of my cubicles?" "Ten more feet to the marketing department."

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"Your blog has become an embarrassment to the company." "You have failed me. Now you must pay the price." "Oh, crud. I need you to call the facilities department for me...and come back tomorrow." snap

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"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

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"I don't understand what your department does, so I decided to eliminate it." "What if I explain what we do? Would you change your mind?" "I see you're not a big fan of decisiveness."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

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"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

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I need to quantify the benefits of our department. Any ideas? "I recommend dishonesty." "Would that work?" "It made me the man I am today."