Fire Secreatry Comic Strips - Page 16
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232 Results for Fire Secreatry
View 151 - 160 results for fire secreatry comic strips. Discover the best "Fire Secreatry" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 04,
2010
Tags coworker, human resources, sit on table, broke arm, bandage, alice, angry, engineer, math, education, business, engineering
Transcript
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday October 16,
2010
Tags intern, pretend, owner, yell, mouth open, fire, annoyed, surprise, power, apologize, point
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."
Tuesday February 03,
2009
Tags interview, job, hanging, ridiculous, humiliation, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"
Tuesday February 10,
2009
Tags job, excuses, argument, depressed, conversation, business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"
Monday April 20,
2009
Tags meeting, crying, afraid, nervous, breakdown, business
Transcript
Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"
Thursday July 23,
2009
Tags sitting, meeting, budget, suggestion, ridicule, annouyed, business
Transcript
The boss says, "I've been asked to cut the fat out of this department." Wally says, "If the department has fat in it, that's a symptom of bad management. Maybe you should fire yourself." The boss says, "I wasn't asking for suggestions." Wally says, "Geez, way to be critical during brain storming."
Tuesday July 28,
2009
Tags retirement, planning, greed, celebrating, layoffs
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm nearing retirement, so fire the research and development group." Dogbert says, "The cost cutting will goose my stock options so I can cash out before the death spiral." The boss says, "Please don't make the noise." Dogbert says, "Too late! Cha-Ching!"
Friday September 25,
2009
Tags Advice, problems, solution, misunderstanding, ignoring, confused, stupidity
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"
Thursday October 15,
2009
Tags sitting, computer, Advice, fire, pain, angry, unexpected, technology
Transcript
Carol says, "Now what do I do?" Dilbert says ,"Click some buttons and see what happens. You can't hurt anything." Click Fzzeet! Dilbert says, "In my defense, that hardly ever happens."
Sunday July 20,
2008
Tags failed to accomplish.objectives, physical impossiblities, logical impossibilities, unforeseen problems, spying, consumer fraud, win converstaion
Transcript
The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."